What If love is real

Chapter 50 : relieve

When suddenly you can't hear a thing beside your own heart beat , when you feel like dying because you wanted it and now you regret it , being alone is what you get , and pain is your dearest friend .. You try to run away from the past but you're not that good at running and at the end you find your past facing you to be your future .. That's not what I want, this is why I had to tell Zayn and everyone in that room . Now that I get rid of this huge weight on my shoulders.. I feel alive, free , ready to start a new life .

Zayn's POV 

"...." Sandra storm out of the room after she said it all , she finally has told her Once upon a time , In my version I made her the evil queen and in reality she's the innocent princess . What have I done ?       I don't know ! Its the first time that my anger and jealousy take control of my body and language, It wasn't me who have said all of this shitty things to her ... I'm swearing inside of me, because I know she won't believe me ... What I told her is terrible,hurtful,mean .. It was rude,stupid..But Its my first time , I got jealous , I lost it .. All of that because I love her . I love her to death 

" Sandra " I screamed her name so loud that I choke out of my breath. She was in her car , her head on the steering wheel , .. She's Lost in her thought , her clear eyes red from tears ... I'm honestly scared to get close to her, Not scared .. I'm just out of words cause I know .. I'm the one to blame , I acted recklessly without hearing her when she demanded to be heard .. And I pushed her, I did what this Jerk has done to her . 

" Sandra " I stood so close to her , I bended my head to see her through the open window and called her name .. this time her name came out of my mouth quite , trembling but enough to take her out of whatever she was thinking , It actually startled her .. I thought she saw me , her eyes were wide open but I guess her mind was close thinking of what had just happened 

" Zayn " She said lifting her head , looking blank at me , she also called me without getting angry, Its weird .. I want her to scream , to insult me .. Go crazy on me , to get everything out of her , to cry .. but she's just looking at me so blankly .. I don't understand it 

" Sandra are you alright ? do you need me to take you home ? " 

" No .. Don't " She said pointing to my hand on her shoulder , she is looking at me with not anger but fear in her eyes ... Is she scared that I would hurt her ? 

" I won't hurt you Sandy ? . .. " I look down embarrassed of what I become .. of what I did !

" I don't want to see you or talk to you .. " She said looking straight at my eyes " For Now .." She adds , which means we're not done .. I can see her , talk to her , but not now .. Of course , I'll do that .. She needs time . 

Sandra's POV 

I was looking at Zayn coming with cautious steps towards me .. Didn't want to move or look at him , I couldn't actually , my mind was somewhere else , lost.. I tried to think to talk or move but I couldn't control it.

When he rested his hand on my shoulder , I moved away .. he looks confused .. he thought that I'm scared , but I'm not ... , I knew that if he looked at me with his breathtaking hazel eyes , if he touches me with his warm hands , I will surrender and go in his arm .. Cause that's what I need right now . I also didn't want to scream at him or get angry , because I know deep down he's a good person , he did what he did because of his jealousy and his trust issues . I'm also done with getting angry and mad of things I had caused .. YES! I was so stupid to trust Nate when I was sure something was wrong with him . I also had to tell Zayn everything the moment I felt those butterflies in my stomach when I kissed him , The moment that I knew I Love him ...  I have to stop getting scared of everything and blaming everyone of my own problems , I have to start living my life the way It should be and care less about my past, future ... Nothing is sure even for the happiest people on earth . 

" I can't let you go alone , you look .. " he hesitate after saying what he wanted " Not in a good state to drive " he adds biting on  his lip 

" I'm not leaving .. " I don't why I said that , I was going to leave minutes before Zayn came , But I felt dazed that's why I rested my head a bit . I don't to be alone . 

" Okey ? " Zayn said raising a brow ... " You're coming " he let out a smile on the side of his lips , A smile that I'm not ready to see . 

" Not with you .. , I don't want you Zayn .. " I said that a bit angrier , just to make him go .. I can't bare being angry and far from him anymore , I don't have any reason left for that . 

" With me .. " That was a familiar girl voice behind Zayn , he turns to see who ? and I get out of the car to see for my self .. It was none other than LEA " She's coming with me to the concert .. " Lea continues giving me a blink .. What is that  ? 

I stood looking blank at her , I'm actually so bad at those telepathy girls things .. I can't get a word unless it was said and explained " You sent me a text , I was waiting for you inside .. You were late , so I decided to come .. I didn't want to interrupt Sorry .. but you have to go Zayn .. to get ready " I was baffled looking at Lea , who has set up a story on her own ..  

" Yes sure .. I have to go see you there " Zayn mumbled looking at me and Lea .. Sure Its confusing cause we're not friend as I remember . 

" What was that ? what are you planning now .. " I snap at her after making sure that Zayn is already inside . 

" Want to win back my friend " She smiles and start walking leaving me behind .