What If love is real

78.

You never know when you are lonely until you hit the rock bottom and be alone, all by yourself, contemplating the mystery life and what comes alongside.

I'm thankful to where I arrived to, for now, I'm in a beautiful city still doesn't beat the coolness of California but it is good being around the people with whom I grew comfortable enough and like to speak about my past.

My aunt, my friends.

And the  one and only that I figured just today how much I love him and can't spare any more time living in denying how I'm attached to his love and affection. My Zayn !

" Did you call me that" He pressed his lips together titling his head up to make eye contact with me.
" call you what ?" I, embarrassed figured out that I said what I said loud enough for him to hear and not just in my head
" Don't play dumb on me babe" He laughed and I pushed his head down to rest on my lap the way he was.
After our not so great breakfast, I stretched my lazy body on the sofa and he joined ; but after a while I don't know how I ended up sitting while he was laying his feet stretched out outside of the sofa and his head rested on my lap.

He never likes to let someone touches his hair, but his letting me for now.

" I bet that my hair is so greasy " Standing, he checked cautiously his falling hair strands with disgust on his face.
" A little yeah"
"Because of you" He pointed grimacing at me.
"Let me remind you mister that you were running and it was raining outside so of course your hair will be dump and greasy" I remarked annoyed by his proud esteem when it comes to his marvelous hair
" Yours is too"
" I know" I paused glancing at the mirrored table "I need a shower" I announced on my way to my bedroom, Zayn was behind following till I reached the door.
" what are you doing ?" Our chests met when I turned around to ask him.
"Isn't it obvious?" He smirked holding his tong in between his teeth.
"No"
" we're taking a shower, move away" He dismissed me with a hand wave and a push from the door.
I stood astonished looking at his arms moving up to undress his chest, the tattoos covering his body are more than I was used too; but all drawn beautifully and with deep meanings.

Speaking of that, I remembered the stars on my back .. now I have one more that I decided to add for the one that I swore to love till the end of times.

                                   ***********

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Dylan spoke walking backwards in front of me.
"Yeah! I'm sure I want it" I've been thinking about it a lot and I decided to add this star tattoo to my collection for him. For Zayn.
"Just think of how people get tattoos for their boyfriends and they broke up ,its so disgusting afterwards" He made a throwing up face and I roll my eyes.
But I admit thinking about this fact a lot. What if it doesn't work out between us, will I regret this tattoo? It would also be a good memory for someone that made me believe in love and life all again. Thats how much positive I became when it came to my life choices.

"Just move away Dylan"
I closed my eyes sighed deeply and pushed the old wooden door making the cloche ring a couple of times before it stops and the big man on the reception looked at me with weird eyes like WTF is this blonde American chick doing here.
"Mhm .. Hello"
"What can I do for you miss ?" He asked politely with his strong British accent that one year ago I would hardly understand but now I can easily thanks to the boys.
" I.. was sent here by Harry !" Harry gave me the address saying that he and Zayn did most of their tattoos here, so I was ensured that it is clean and safe.
The man did not answer, instead his head dropped to whatever paperwork he was already making. My head snapped back to Dylan looking for help but before he got the chance to give me that I told you look, a muscular broad shoulders guy came from outside, his eyes were a deep blue and his chest and hands were full of black ink writing and drawing.

"Hi beautiful, what are you looking for ? I guess Charles here was not very helpful" the second owner or employee proposed his help
" I am here for a tattoo, Harry sent me .. umm he said that someone would know ahead" And I guess not, by the look of the first gangster or tough man.
" Harry .. don't think I know a lad by this name .." he patted his mate on the shoulder " Do you Charles?" I took his silence as a No
" I think this is our cue to go" Dylan whispers to my ear as he dragged me by my hand
" No Dylan, I'm here for that tattoo and I don't care either he knows or not as long as its a tattoo shop and you pay to get it done" I snapped at the poor boy, but his concerns are overrated sometimes

I settled in a comfortable chair inside of what it looks like an operation room, Dylan was pacing maybe more than a hundred step by minute if I'm not exaggerating.
I was only wearing a bra but my chest was covered by the chair's rest since I was sitting backwards to give him a full view of my back and shoulder.
"So I assume the star will be right below the other ones" I shiver under the cold gauze full of alcohol on my skin.
" Yes, but is there any way to make it a little more special than the others?" I have four and this will be my fifth , it should be special for Zayn not that the other four for mom dad Jenny and Sam are not but this love is different.
" Yes sure, how about a name in it or some sparkle, color.." the man keep suggesting but nothing was more catchy and sensitive.
" Tell me the story!" He demanded more than asked but I didn't oppose when I saw his bright smile and warm look towards me.
"Well each star if for someone I care about in my family, but this one is for the One you know"
"Say no more" he stood ,the needle in his hand with a stay strong look he began to draw in my skin.
" So is he worth it ?"
" I hope" Dylan answers in my place
" Let me see him, I can know by looking" Jack said, the tattoo man I learned his name by now.
I opened my phone and showed him the most recent picture I had with Zayn , also talking make the pain a little less painful than it should be.
" Dear god! Are you The mysterious plane lady" the man shouted over my shoulder grabbing the phone in one hand and giving up on the tattoo.
" what?"
" I get it now, you're styles friend .. he sent you here Charles and I knew that I've seen you before but I couldn't quite remember; you're Zayn's girl .. he talked a lot about you whenever he came for a tattoo. You kept the pain away" he explains and I smiled

He spent an hour doing the tattoo, he said that its a lot different than it was and it's totally worth it. Charles apologized for earlier, they thought I was a fan of the boys and a lot of them came here just to meet them.

Dylan and I were in love with Jack's work, he literally made the tattoo like it was a real star , it was one from above the others but different; it was bold and glowing shooting little stars and sparkles over the others ....

                                    ************
We finally took shower separately, he first than I .. when I get out wrapped in a long towel he was still chest naked, a black towel covering his lower body. His hair dried and his beautiful looks are still on fleek.
I sat on the chair looking at my reflection in the mirror, or just trying to ignore Zayn's reflection on it while he dried my hair .. we argued a lot but that was it or the shower so I chose this.

"You changed your tattoo" he implied, his finger tracking the skin on my neck
"Yes" .. "Long but beautiful story"
"Tell me about it"

We both ended up on the bed him laying sideways his head rested on his palm while I told him about the tattoo and how he became my one.