What If love is real

65.

I'm sad that this story is close to an end . I'm so thankful for the readers who supported and voted for me or not , I hope that you will keep supporting me till the end . I'm also happy that my writing is getting way better and I started correcting the first chapters 

Love you all - xoxo 

Zayn: 

I woke up startled by the sound of the rain, it was loud against the walls, When I stretched my arm It landed on something that I almost dropped. After looking with my hands to find a small hint of my location, I found a light switch and turned it on

I smiled of how the amnesia is taking the best of me, After seeing the unfinished painting on the white board, I knew that I slept in the wooden house surrounded by the things I love the most.

Its been so long since I stopped sleeping like a human being, I keep rolling on the sofa watching tv shows and comics wishing that my eyes will give up but no chance. 

Going out to run and free my mind  , getting nostalgic and taking back all the good and bad memories while enjoying a cigarette is what I need in order to clear up this messy brain of mine.

Sandy: 

My body shivers, I tried with my foot to look for the bed cover that has slipped as usual on the ground.

I was freezing and impatient to get warm, that's when a ridiculous smile broke my irritated sleepy face . I remembered twilight scene when Bella gets cold and Jacob had to sleep by her side to keep her warm. Anyways I'm not in a situation to think about a romantic scene, I'm just cold as much as Bella was .

The annoyance broke my stupid smile and I decided to get up and bring something more warm to wear as I was only wearing a tank top not to fit for London's nights . having this romantic scene in my mind I would only leave it by wearing my favorite leather jacket of Zayn. Having his perfume by my side will keep me warm enough . 

Damn my stupid self. HE GOT IT BACK !! I yelled silently in my mind I slammed the dressing door.

I couldn't get back to sleep, I kept thinking about him .. his eyes, his hair, his smile, how he comforted me, and how he forgot what was between us and got a new life.

 I obvisouly went to stage two of depression and started crying, I curled in bed and buried my face in a pillow , I screamed and cried as much as I could to get everything out. 

But looking at the situation  from in right mind , Aren't I the one to blame in all of this . Zayn was so patient and nice with me. He loved and did everything so I can be and stay comfortable with him. He was ready to wait as much as I want to be with me. But I gave up, I gave up and lost.

Thinking about all of this now is just hurtful and its all in the past , it makes me want to drink a whole Rhum and Gin bottle and not stop till I pass out , this is the old me thinking I guess. I'm accepting in a total different way. I think what I mostly need now is a run and a cold air to clean up my messy brain . 

" God its freezing " I rubbed my arms with my hands in hope to gets me more warm but I didn't help . I began running to keep my self warm , smoke get outside of my mouth as I repeat the lyrics of the songs playing in my ears.  

the light spots buried on the ground between the now brown trees  enlightened the dark forest. It was still scary with the sounds of birds and insects but I was not, the neighborhood is very secure and I'm so familiar with it 

When Zayn left I went to his workshop almost everyday, I contemplated his beautiful work and I also tried to draw my owns , he left for me some drawing paper on the painting boards , paints and color bombs Zayn's favorite tool  . 

When I reached the lake, I heard sounds coming from behind the bushes, and dried leaves cracking under someone's feet . I was courageous enough to get close and ask " Who's there ?" but no one answered only the feet steps sound became closer than where it was . I was in a defense position, I only knew some moves from Sam and Zayn. 

I took a deep breath and moved foreword , my hands ready to hit and feet to run . Sandy You can do it , you can . I kept telling my self . 

" Fuck what's wrong with you ? " The man voice growled as he received a hit on his knee. My mouth froze in O shape when I realized who it was by his uncovered tattoos and black messy hair. 

" I'm sorry " I apologized with a chuckle but inside I was unsatisfied, If I knew it was Zayn I should  have hit harder than this. He deserve it . 

He lift his head up and swing his sexy fucking now tall black hair, one of my weaknesses towards him . With furrowed brows he gazed at my low chuckle that now has stopped and turned into a serious worried face . My usual expression !!

 " I'm glad that you still remembering the move I thought you " He smiles  and held my offered hand to stand up . I was not sure what how to react at his sudden smile , the tongue held between his teeth and how his eyes gets cutely narrowed . I shook my head to force the desire to kiss him languorously go away. 

" What ?" He questions my look as he stared deeply right into my eyes 

" Nothing , What were you doing here anyway ?" Just to change the subject, what it will be weird to tell him I was fantasizing on his sexy lips 

" Hum, couldn't sleep .. I decided to take a walk and smoke " He answered his head down playing with his feet with the pebbles scattered on the ground . " And you ? " He asks back 

" Would you believe if I say same thing for me taking out the smoking part " We both smiles looking at each other thats when we noticed that our hands are still entangled around each other. 

" Yes, I would . Just like the old beautiful days " I'm surprised he still remembers when we both couldn't sleep and talk to each other for hours on the phone , or take a walk outside in the dark forest just like now . I sigh and nods in agreement !! 

" Everything was so good then " He continued in a bitter tone. I felt a mix of guilt and pain stuck in my throat . 

Looking back at my previous year with Zayn it was all good but the time was never on our side. my wound was still fresh and my heart swore to never believe in a love line 

" Yes, but we can't change destiny we just choose the way to arrive to the same result . " I'm making it easy on myself . comforting my inside with good excuses. 

He laughs shortly but full of sarcasm and amusement " You know that's why it is better to keep our past hidden either it was true or not, good or bad . It ruins everything " my feet stops just as he finished . This is so direct in a 100% rude way. 

He stops and turned to face me when my hand left his, I was astonished and thinking in my own world. Did he really thought that everything I lived was a game a lie to lure him into my net ? I was never the type to do that .  

" I thought we were having a nice conversation and we are friends at least now " I said in disbelief, angry at my tears who never betrays me to fall down 

" You clearly misunderstood then " he harshly responded starring right into my red eyes. 

" Yes ! Be happy Zayn .. " That was a good cue , I didn't bother to turn around .. I ran till I reached a safe place and kneeled yelling and crying about my trashy luck.