What If love is real

Chapter 51 : One Song

I stepped on my dignity and my painful heart, but it was all for my good .. Staying alone will lead me to do some things that are really awful and it's not what I need right now , its not why I did come here for .. If I ruined my chance in here , I will have no where else to go, no life to live , no friends .. Nothing.

Being with Lea wasn't actually bad, I honestly didn't care about her presence and same for her , she just enjoyed the the first quarter of the concert by herself and I did the same .. Well if staying still in my place listening to twenty-five percent of each song and getting lost in my thoughts in the rest of it can be called enjoying than I did enjoy too

" They were good right ! " Lea screamed enough to be heard through the fans loud shouting.
" Yes true " I know I wasn't listening to their whole performance but I liked one song - Amnesia .. It does appeal to me so well .
" I love you guys " Lea screamed like the other girls - I roll my eyes at her and she did notice
" They are so handsome, their girlfriends must be so Lucky " what! lucky .. She has Harry !!! "Don't judge me you seemed so close to Luke earlier , maybe a little bit attracted to him .. Its ok he's handsome " really, I just met the boy and she is saying I looked attracted to him .. Did I do something wrong ?! Thats why Zayn got angry and jealous .

" I'm not .. " I snap . Hopefully it will make her end this conversation, but she's looking at me with her brows raised into a perfect line " I said I'm not Lea .. Don't get on my nerves, I already had my portion plus a bonus for today" was I really looking differently at Luke !! God no I don't think so ..

" Okey " she states and mumbles something that I'm pretty sure is about me . Don't care about her for now .. I raised my head to look at the guys who are now saying goodbye .. I didn't even realize that I've been standing here for an hour , it doesn't look like me .

The guys said goodbye and each one of them dedicate something to the fans , a sentence from a song or a play on the guitar or drums .. I was still standing awkwardly..since I'm in front of them .. I'm sure they have noticed me, I'm clapping like a fool - this is the best that I can do .. Oh okey!!! What he had just done !!!!! Did he winked at me LUKE ?!!!! Was it me .. There is no one behind me .. Lea make a mocking noise trying to prove her self

" Really Lea "
" What ? "
" What !! Don't you have a boyfriend?? " I catches her flirting with some random guy
" the guy started it .. And Having a goalkeeper does not prevent good players to score "
" Don't make excuses.. You were doing the same , you have Harry for god's sake " Harry has all the qualities that a girl is looking for in a guy .. Handsome,Nice..adorable, he even got dimples
" Yeah my bad okay ! " She can at least still admits what she does wrong
" Good " I turned to face the stage when the fans screams make me jump, being in the vip section is not really helping.. Suddenly the light went off .
" Okey .. Anyway they are about to start , you better cheer the boys .. Show some reactions , don't stay like a stone next to me .. Negative vibes !!! " She criticises now .. Well I shouldn't be surprised. Its what she is .. A judging queen

I kept my head down , couldn't see Zayn .. But I felt somehow his eyes were staring at me, his parts of the songs are directed to me .. Lea is really having fun , she's screaming Harry's name and when his face shows up on the screen, she smiles so brightly like the old Lea who used to smile about everything... Seeing her like that make me feel bad about Zayn, she looks so Happy with Harry , her eyes shine at his sight .. A flirt is just her nature, I shouldn't get all jealous earlier when she was with Zayn , I shouldn't have hugged Luke and look at him like Lea has told me .. But he really enraged me when he refused to pick me up, to spend time with Lea instead of me .

This song seem familiar to my ears .. This is the song that Melanie has uploaded to my iPod, this is the song that I heard over a million times when I felt pain, solitude or the urge to do something bad to my self , this song comforted me, and here is it now..making everything comes back , every little memory that I hid in it is getting back to life in my mind, every detail is fresh like I'm living it all again .

I want to close my ears but its not helping, I want to run away but my feet are stick to the ground, think of something else Sandra.
I forced my brain to think of anything else but I figured out that I have nothing left to think of .. Every past happy memory was blurry and unclear, and all what happened with Nate is memorable.

" You alright?! " Lea took my hand
" I'm fine .. " I lied , Last thing I need is Lea's pity

" you don't look Fine ... " what is wrong with this girl today

" I told you I'm fine Lea .. " I snap at her ..

" Zayn is on the mic .. " Lea said loud enough to let me hear , I'm sure she did it on purpose .. but I already knew he's on the mic .. cause I've been looking at him, I've been glancing at the stage when It was his time to sing .. before coming to the concert , I listened to all their tracks .. and I memorised all of Zayn's solos to sing along , but It does not turn out like I imagined it

" Hi everyone . So glad to be with all of you here tonight .. and at the same time Sad because the concert is coming to an end ... but there is a special person here in the audience , She hates standing for hours to hear a band sing , she never knew one direction .. but she became the best friend of all of us .. and more for me ... This Song is for you " I must be dreaming , Zayn did not say this about me .. he means someone else .. Why I feel everyone's eyes on me .. he doesn't even said my name or pointed at me

" Sandy .. Look up , you're on the screen " OH MY GOOOOOD ...

She sneaks out in the middle of the night, yeah
Tight dress with the top cut low
She's addicted to feeling of letting go, oh, ohoo, let it go

She walks in and the room just lights up
But she don't want anyone to know
That I'm the only one who gets to take her home, oh, ooh
Take her home

But every time I tell her that I want more
She closes the door

She's not afraid of all the attention
She's not afraid of running wild
How come she's so afraid of falling in love
She's not afraid of scary movies
She likes the way we kiss in the dark
But she's so afraid of f-f-falling in love
Ohoo

Maybe she's just trying to test me
Wanna see how hard I'm gonna work
Wanna see if I can really tell how much she's worth
What your worth

Or maybe all her friends have told her
Don't' get closer he'll just break your heart

But either way she sees in me and it's just so hard (So hard)

'Cause every time I tell her how I feel
She says it's not real

She's not afraid of all the attention
She's not afraid of running wild
How come she's so afraid of falling in love
She's not afraid of scary movies
She likes the way we kiss in the dark
But she's so afraid of f-f-falling in love
Ohoo

What about all the things we said
Talking on the phone so late
I can't let her get away from me (Ohh)

When I say that I can't do it no more
She's back in my door