Tom Holland/Peter Parker Imagines

Tom Holland- Letter to Tom

Dear Tom,

It's been 24 days since we lost you.

Adapting to life without you has been difficult.

Wearing my wedding ring is difficult now that you're not here, but taking off is even harder, as it feels like I'm betraying you by not wearing it.

Toby started 3rd grade 2 days ago, and Evelyn started 2nd grade 4 days ago.

Tessa misses you. She lays on your side of the bed every night.

Sam, Harry and Paddy visit every weekend and they babysit the kids so I can come and visit you.

Nikki constantly comes over to cook for me or the kids.

After a few days, both Toby and Evelyn started crying when they realised that you were never coming home.

It's actually quite hard not to cry myself. I see you everywhere now. Everyone continuously asks how I'm doing, and I lie to everyone. I tell everyone I'm ok, even though I lock our bedroom door every night so no-one can see me crying.

Acting life without you is hard. I have to continue to act like I'm ok, but sometimes I break down and cry even more. I took a week off work, and that made me worse.

After your funeral, I barely ate, I barely left my room and your mom had to take the kids for a while.

Right now, I feel exactly how Peter Parker felt during Spider-Man: Far From Home. I feel like I'm going to have to carry on your amazing legacy.

I know that you'll never come home, but I just want to spend one more day with you, one more hour with you, one more minute with you, one more second with you.

I want you to come home for our kids. Toby misses you. Evelyn misses you. I just want them to have one more moment with you. I want them to have great memories with you that don't exist in photos.

I want our kids to know you like I know you.

You didn't deserve to die because of my stupidity. You didn't deserve to loose your life. If only had we taken the alternate route to work.

It's my fault that you're dead. I asked that we take the normal route to work as it meant that we wouldn't be late. You opted for us to take the safer route but I didn't listen.

Because of me, our kids will grow up with their father. I'll live the rest of my life without my husband, my best friend, my soulmate.

You'll never get to see our kids start their first relationships, graduate school, get their first jobs, marry their partners, or have kids.

Because of me, our lives will never be the same.

On a different note, I met Toby's teacher, Mr Samuels. Toby seems to think that Mr Samuels likes me. I met Evelyn's teacher, Ms Harper. She's a lovely person.

Tessa is better now. She constantly wags her tail and she loves giving me and the kids hugs.

After our last movie, I got given a new contract with Marvel. They're planning a special memorial for you in the next movie.

Everyone in the cast misses you. Robert always makes comments about how amazing you are and he defends you against your haters. Chris. E, Chris, H, and Scarlett constantly pretend to act like you. Whenever Robert sees Toby and Evelyn, he can't help but cry, saying that they remind him too much of you.

I constantly get tagged by fans about edits, photos and general posts. The fans are just as sad that you are gone.

Before I cry myself to sleep again, I just want to say that I love you Tom. I love you more than anything and there won't be a day in our life that I won't be thinking of you or what our future could've been like.

As much as I miss you, I know that everything happens for a reason, and someday, that reason will make itself known.

For now, we love you and we miss you.

-Your wife, Y/N. xoxo