The parts you leave behind

Chapter 18*

Blair's POV

"You can not be serious right now." I deadpan as I cross my over my chest to hopefully swell down the frustration that's building in there.

Her sighs makes its way through my ears as she pauses her movements and holds onto the counter while she closes her eyes and takes in the moment of quiet. "I am serious Blair." She breaths out.

"Mom. I told you I hate when you do this, I hate when you treat me like this." I scoff. She said she wouldn't. Monday shouldn't have made a difference.

"This is a sickness. And I'm treating it as a sickness because that's what we're supposed to do Blair!" She shouts as she spins around and looks at me with wide eyes.

I raise a defensive brow as I exhale. "Oh is that what this is?" I chuckle slightly. "Awe mommy does it make you feel better to know your daughters dying, when you keep her locked in the house?"

She shakes her head. "You do not speak to me like that. This is for your own safety and I don't feel comfortable with you going anywhere yet."

I blink a few times because I can not believe her right now. She won't let me go to school, she won't let me drive anywhere, she won't let me watch movies with the brightness up or with the lights off. I mean she won't even let me go for a walk.

I am sick and tired of sitting here. I'm not sure if she's waiting to keep me locked in a box until it happens again or what. I mean my doctor said I was to experience seizures and if I'm not overreacting about it, when I was the one who spasmed and pissed all over myself in a loss of consciousness just to wake up to find out it was real?...Then she can get over it too.

"Whats the difference between if I'm sitting here or if I'm off also sitting somewhere else with my friends." I scoff.

"The difference is that I'm here. And that we know what to do when it happ-"

"It's not fucking rocket science! All you have to do is make sure I don't hit my head. Stop making this something that it isn't, stop acting like this has never happened before!" I shout in her direction while I throw my hands up.

She exhales slowly like I'm taking every bit of energy she has left. "I'm not changing my mind. And I won't let you guilt trip me into doing so when anything could happen out of my control."

"Oh you want control?" I question with a fake grin. "Welcome to my damn world. I can't physically see what is happening when it's happening to me, I have to feel it. And I won't be cooped up in this house for the little time I have just because you don't understand that non of us are in control. Trust me I've cried and yelled that I could be in control but it's not happening so get over the fact that I'm fucking dying and think about one of your clients like you used to all the time."

"Shut up!" She snaps in my direction as tears fill her eyes and she shakes her head while pointing a finger at me. "Shut the hell up." She whispers in a shaky voice.

I smile in her direction. "Great so now we're acting oblivious," I nod then begin to retreat from my moms bedroom. "I should ask the school for some college applications while we're at it!"

Walking down the hallway, I enter the kitchen as I pull the refrigerator door open and grab a water bottle. I stare ahead of me while I get the cap off then tip my head back and take a long drink so I can get the dry, and aching feeling out of my throat.

"Everything okay?" I hear Luke ask from behind me, and I bring the water down before I swipe my thumb over my bottom lip to get the extra water off.

"Oh yeah definitely. Mom just thinks I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to take care of herself." I assure him as I turn around in his direction.