The parts you leave behind

Chapter 21*

Blair's POV

Their squeals are so loud it gives me a headache as I cover my head with my hands to try and block them out. Then I remember that this is why I don't tell them things about my personal life because they overreact and act as if they're going to see me riding a unicorn across a rainbow because it's just so 'great'.

I roll my eyes before I peak through one eye and look at them as they smile at me with expected eyes. "Blair go on." Emma pushes and I sigh.

"We kissed. Big deal, and I only told you this because I needed to get it out, I didn't want you to start planning a whole nonexistent future." I mumble into my hands as I shake my head.

"Are you kidding me? This is actually a big deal Blair. I mean you and Hayden hall like each other. You kissed each-other. You're staying in the same house with each-other, and you're telling me you're not like making midnight trips down to the living room or something?" Maya scoffs.

I roll my eyes. "Didn't I basically give y'all a whole sad montage of why the cancer ridden girl can't be with the sweet football player?"

"No you definitely did, but have you really thought it through?" Emma tilts her head.

"Yes. How else do you think I came up with that title?" I sigh as I sit up in my bed despite my own protest to just lay down in this one place for the rest of my eternity so I don't have to face reality.

"Eh it doesn't sound like it had much thought put into. Maybe the cancer stricken girl finds the love of her life Hayden Hall with t-minus months to live?" Emma suggest.

Maya shakes her head. "To long, plus we both know cancer isn't the only thing stopping her. Girl with commitment issues sadly can't get her attitude adjustment from fluffy haired boy."

"To much context. Girl who hates the world, can't be with the one person she only hated for minimum of time." Emma smiles proudly while I watch the two with a glare.

"Okay how about, girl in the corner who can't be with the boy sitting in the front of the class?"

"Maybe but, girl in the bleachers can't be with the football player even though he belongs with her?"

"You did not just reference Taylor Swift." Maya sighs. "Girl who would be the killer in a horror movie can't be with the guy who would save the day."

"Devil can't have her Angel."

"That ones sad." Maya frowns. "Awe, Hazel can't have her Augustus."

Emma furrows her brows. "Wouldn't Blair be Caroline because she was the one with brain cancer? Also Hayden doesn't have cancer so that ones not valid."

Maya clicks her tongue like she's disappointed in herself. "Damn, you're right."

"Okay both of you stop, please." I break as throw my arms up and shake my head. "The name I chose for my problem is not the problem itself, it's the whole situation and you two are getting way off topic."

"Just saying that if the name sounds good then the story's gotta be good, and currently that name makes me want to cry before I even get a summary." Emma shrugs her shoulders.

I close my eyes. "That's the point because it makes me want to cry." I tell her through gritted teeth.

"Oh now don't do that, surely there's a solution." Emma assures me while she puts a hand on my shoulder and rubs my arm.

"No Emma there is no solution. I can't be with him, even if he did know about my tumor I refuse to be the person who breaks his heart because I am going to be gone guys. I know we joke and we don't realize it's real but it is. I am dying and I already feel guilty enough for even being around all of you as it is."