The parts you leave behind

Chapter 19*

Hayden's POV

When that one person who knows you inside and out isn't talking to you it almost feel like you're missing a part of yourself. It's almost hard to explain and I quite honestly don't understand it because, well I don't form emotional connections with people that often.

Except when you form that connection with someone, being around them almost seems like days are hours. And the hours you spend away from them become days. So when you've been apart from a certain person for days that you've seen and talked to everyday it can feel like years.

Not to mention I don't fully understand what the silence is supposed mean, or why it's happening in the first place. I really do try to see things from other peoples perspectives but I've come up blank every time I try it. Although I won't lie and say I've been suffering.

I suppose when there's another person who turns days into hours it's not too bad.

"You know, thinking causes more trouble than it does good." Rivera's voice breaks me out of my concentration and I look over to where she sits in front of me eating some pasta.

"And not thinking enough causes more trouble than it does good too." I inquire with pursed lips. "So does any of it really matter that much?"

She smiles slightly then looks back down to her food as her right elbow that's resting on the table, slightly sways. "What's on your mind?"

I shrug. "Nothing much."

"Oh yeah I bet." She slightly rolls her eyes. "That brain of yours is always thinking about something and I'm just the one who has to take the hits about what's going through it."

I grin at her playful tone. "You love hearing my thoughts." I narrow my eyes as I reach over and grab one of her carrots as she try's to slap my hand away.

"Mhm, it's getting so hard to convince myself I hate you." She shakes her head with a smile then she sighs causing her chest to move up and down and I watch the movement more closely than I should.

"Just give up the act already. I can see right through it." I inform her while I give her the 'I see you' fingers and she takes a slow sip of her drink then gives me the middle finger.

Damn her. I'm not really sure how this happened. How we ended up sitting at lunch together for the last couple days. All I know is that her friends did something to make her mad, and my best friend isn't talking to me so we leaned into each-other for support.

That's it.

"Well with that conceited train of thought, pull your head out of your ass because this is important." She starts as she clears her throat and sits up straight while I watch every move she makes closely. "I am locked in the house like a prisoner. So I say you help me sneak out then I'll grant you with the satisfaction of my presence."

I don't even need convincing about this. I would do just about anything she told me too because I am such a fool for her it's becoming stupid, although I have to put up a fight to keep up the act she likes so much.

"I'm not sure if helping you sneak out is a good thing for, the trying to get your brother to forgive me plan."

"Maybe not but you have to admit he's overreacting. I mean he was already mad at me but the fact that he's even madder because I was with you is idiotic. You're his best friend,  he should trust you."

Her defensive tone makes me want to smile because she wants to protect me. I can see it in her face and I want to run my thumb over her lip to get that frown away while I tell her it's okay if he doesn't trust me with her. I don't know if I trust myself with you either Blair.