The parts you leave behind

Chapter 24*

Blair's POV

I hold down the button as coffee pours out of the machine, and into the small white cup.  I watch it slowly fill up as my nostrils intake the strong smell of black coffee straight. Then my eyes snap up to the old man leaning against the counter, as I send him a quick smile though it drops when I look away to see that it's filled up enough and I pull the cup away.

"Here you go sir, be careful it's hot." I warn as I hand the steaming hot cup to him with a small pot holder under.

"Thank you." He smiles then walks away while I continue to stand behind the counter, absolutely bored out of my mind.

Looking towards the clock I see it's merrily 6 o'clock and I internally groan. Mondays are the worst days to work because they last forever, and I've hardly even been here since I got out of school but it still feels like it's been days. And so as I stand here watching the minimum people sitting in here, I sigh.

But then I smile. I smile because my train of thought goes off to Friday night and my entire body breaks out into a chill from the memories. It was all so good. The date was good, his words were even better, being with him on a new level felt so unspeakably amazing, laying with him and talking to him until he had to leave before the morning. And I think back to everything I felt that night, and everything I'm still feeling from this point on.

And I want to feel this. I want to feel this every single day for the rest of my life. No matter how much the smart side of my brain tells me that I should get rid of him and spare him the hurt, I know it's impossible because he's in my veins now. And how can you get rid of someone when you feel like they're the reason your heart pumps blood to your body now.

I don't exactly understand it but I want to be selfish with him so bad. I want to live in his presence and forget that one day this will all be over. That one day he won't be the reason my heart pumps, he won't be the reason my eyes blink so I can look for him, he won't be the reason my lips curve up with just a mere thought. Because I won't be able to do any of that, but I can do that now. I can pump my heart, I can blink, I can smile and I feel like it's all because of him that I still want to.

It's complicated except when I'm around him I've never felt more at peace in my entire life. He makes me feel like I have everything figured out even when my brain is scattered all over the place, so I hold onto that instead of thinking of my inevitable.

Although, every good and bad thought gets pushed out of my brain as I hear the sound of the bell ringing when the door opens. I look over and when I see Kaitlyn she smiles and waves in my direction before walking over to the counter.

I stand up a little straighter, and her welcoming smile throws me off because something deep down still makes me feel like I don't deserve it. "Hey Blair. How you been?"

"Oh, I'm good." I grin a little as she steps up to the counter. "You want something to drink?"

She looks up, and slightly narrows her eyes. "What do you recommend? I don't drink caffeine because it makes me feel like I'm all over the place." She informs me, and I get to thinking.

"The refreshers are good." I shrug a little. "I'm not a big caffeine person either."

"Then I'll have one of those." She purses her lips then looks back down to me, while I put her order into the cash register.

"Okay...that'll be $4.56." I tell her, and she hands me a ten before I give her back her change then she puts it in the tip jar. "Thanks."

"Of course." She smiles again as she scans my face a little. "You look good."