The parts you leave behind

Chapter 27*

Blair's POV

I slam the door shut as I walk into the kitchen and immediately both my moms and Luke's heads snap towards me but I just ignore them and go to the medicine cabinet. I open it and grab my daily pill holder which I open them and count two pills. Where's the fucking third?

Letting out an angry breath I begin to throw pill bottles down on the counter and out of the cabinet while I look through all the names. My blood boils while I look through what feels like millions of bottles that don't have what I need, and I shake my head. I look in my daily pill container again while I try to figure out what's going on. There are pill bottles laying everywhere but not the ones that were supposed to save me from this.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I shout while I throw the bottles in my hand against the cabinet and try to rummage through the rest of them which I can see are just cough medicine but I want to know where the are. "Oh, come on. You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"Blair, what's going on?" My mom questions while she comes up besides me though I ignore her and continue to look but then she grabs my hands, and the tears begin to pool again. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

I shake my head and tuck my lip in my mouth while I try to hold in a sob. "Where's the third pill mom. You said you'd make my daily pill container because you don't want me to forget to take them, where's my birth control?"

She furrows her brows. "Blair...the third pill I've been giving you is a nausea medication. I told you was going to stop giving you your birth control pills a long time ago because you were already taking to many different medicines." 

"What?" I question as I look at her and shake my head. "You never told me that, why wouldn't you fucking tell me that? Did you not think it was important."

"I did."

"No you didn't!" I cry as a sob breaks out from my chest, and my eyes widen while I try to search for any source of air that I can find. "You gave me three pills a day. My chemo pill, my epilepsy pill, and birth control. You never told me you switched that to nausea medication."

"Yes I did." She sighs slightly and looks at me with a head tilt. "What does it matter anyways sweetheart?" She asks me and when I lay a hand on my stomach her eyes shoot down before they widen. "No..."

I nod slowly. "I don't know what to do mom." I whisper before she exhales then wraps her arms around me while I cry into her chest to try and get all of the thoughts out of my head. Except that's impossible because they swarm my entire body like pain is all I deserve to feel. This hurts. It hurts so bad.

"When did you...." She stops for a moment and swallows. "When did you find out?"

I sniffle as I keep my eyes closed. I have this theory that's completely untrue, but it's helping me get by. I have this theory that if I keep my eyes closed I don't have to come back into this reality. I can go back to the nights where I'm laying with Hayden and laughing with him except when my eyes are closed I don't have cancer. And we didn't make a baby, we were just living as us in our own little world. Nothing could burst our bubble because we were just that indulged with each-other.

Correction; nothing can burst our bubble while my eyes are closed. But then my lids peel back and reality slams right back down on my body making me feel paralyzed from head to toe.

"Today. I had an appointment, and I went for head scans but they found something else." I shake my head as my face slightly twist while the nausea stays present in my body like it's in my blood at this point.

"Oh god..." my mom whispers before kissing the top of my head. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head again for what feels like the millionth time. "I have no idea what I'm going to do."