The parts you leave behind

Chapter 38*

Hayden's POV

When people said you should take things one day at a time, clearly they've never met Lucas Rivera before.

I mean of course the first few days you have to give the person space and time to think, and eventually they'll come around to some what of an understanding. But it's been way past those first few days, and I've yet to see the 'take it one day at a time' process, making this situation any better than it was the first day.

It's been two weeks, and Lucas is still avoiding all of us like we're absolutely horrible people. Especially me, he's giving me the silent treatment, won't look in my direction and I totally get it. But he's still doing this? He won't even give me a chance to explain because every time I try to go his way, he just walks away like I was never even there.

One good thing is Sarah's opened up to me a little bit. I mean she's still off a bit, but she lets me hang around Blair in her room and stuff so clearly she's not too off on the idea like a certain someone. But since Lucas won't even look at me, we find ourselves locked up in her room quite a bit but I don't mind it. Lucas can be an asshole, but that's not going to get me to stop cuddling with his sister right down the hall.

And do I miss the guy? Fuck yes. I've never gone more than a day without talking to him, so this has slightly been rough. Except when he's being stubborn like this for no reason, it's not hard to stay away from him. Not to mention it just feels so good to finally have Rivera and I put out in the open, so he can throw a fit all he wants because I'm happy. He can hate me for being happy but I am, and I won't let him ruin that.

So today I gave up trying to hide what he already knew was happening. I'm sure his thoughts are worse when we're locked up in her room, with the door shut and neither of us coming out of there. So as I sit with Rivera laying between my legs with her back against my chest in the living room, I could give two shits what he sees anymore.

"This movie is so sad. Why did we have to watch this?" I ask as I blink my eyes a few times to control my tear ducts.

She looks up and smiles while bringing her hand up to wipe her thumb under my eyes. "Because the fault in our stars is an amazing movie, and you're so adorable when you do that."

"But that's so sad, why did he have to die though?" I ask because it makes absolutely no sense why the worst things have to happen to good people.

"Because John Green is a sadistic asshole." She tells me before giving me a grin. "Just kidding. But it symbolizes that they'll love each-other even when they're not existing together. I mean I think that's what makes Augustus and Hazel's story so beautiful."

I tilt my head slightly while I run my hand down her arms. "But think about it this way, why make such a great movie just to end it sadly?"

"Because that's what makes it so great. If the movie would have ended where they lived happily ever after, it wouldn't have gave the same story where one of them is left to walk the earth and live for the person they lost. Plus it teaches Hazel a lot about herself and it's a great story." She explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

I hum in response as I nod my head a little bit then pull her closer to me because part of me hates this story. I can kind of see us here, except I don't have cancer, it's just her, but in the end one of us is gone. I guess I just don't like the mindset it puts me in where I have to think about what the near months hold for us because of how hard I try to live in these moments.

"It is a beautiful story." I nod my head.

"Mhm, but you know the best thing to do after a sad movie is to watch a comedy." She wiggles her brows and grabs the remote while she snuggles closer to me and we just lay there while she scrolls through the tv.