Ruthless 18+

44

CHAPTER 44

She just stood there as she looked at me, searching me for any harm. Debating if this was real or another of their torturous dreams, my body seemed to relax for a moment and then stiffen. I didn't know if I should run to her or wait; I didn't know if she wanted me to hold or touch her. For the first time, I stood without knowing the answer to something, too scared to take a step as she watched me. I didn't even notice as everyone stopped behind me. I searched deep into her eyes for anything; it was a void. She was in a void.

She parted her lips, looking down at herself as if memories rushed into her mind; she looked back at me.

"Where's my father?" Her voice was so quiet and rough. My heart aches, searching for a way to tell her. I shook my head without a word. Something in her eyes cracked, and she took a shaky breath as she looked down at herself again, looking at her bruises.

"My children?" My lungs were at war with me, refusing to give me the strength to say it, fighting me not to see her hurt, but I pushed through and said.

"We couldn't find them." Her shoulders lowered as she averted her eyes from mine quickly. I dared to take only one step, and she didn't back away. Instead, she looked back at me and ordered. "Take me to him." I have waited and refused to bury Daniel in the hope that she would wake up sooner. But here we are a day after his funeral, only one day.

"We buried him." Her eyes glossed, fighting the tears as she looked up at me. She looks down at herself again and opens her mouth. "Did-." For the first time, I saw Iris having difficulty speaking or finding whatever she had to say difficult. She stayed silent for a moment, finding the courage or whatever strength she still had to say, "Was I kidnapped?" I closed my eyes; she hoped, she still hoped, that it wasn't true.

"Yes." I see her knees begging to give up; even as she looks at me, I see her drifting into memories, recalling everything they have done. I count her uneven breath to ensure she's alive and standing tall before me.

Her knees buckled, and I ran and held her against me. She stiffens and looks back at me with devastating eyes, an apology for reacting to my touch or that maybe I knew what they did to her.

"I know, I know, and it's okay if you want me to let go of you." It's not okay; I'm fighting every cell in my body not to pull her closer, to feel her heart beating against my chest. But she pushes against me to stand still, and I lean in and whisper, "You can finally fall, Iris."

Three heavy breaths she took before she allowed her body to give up; I pulled her closer just a little. Her face stuck in the same expression, and we slipped down to the ground without a word. Shock, she was in shock; she stared at the wall without a motion.

Her shallow eyes showed more than her words could; my gut twisted when she blinked a tear away, then another and another. She looked back at me, and her eyes said everything, revealing the hidden tantrum underneath it. The hurt, the pain, the fear, everything she held back, she kept concealed. It has risen to the surface without permission. And tried to show me how truly broken she was, how hunted and black the pit in her mind was.

She takes my hand, leads it to her chest, and breathes. "It hurts."

Continuous tears broke down her pale cheeks, and so did mine. Seeing her like this, the pain and sorrow glow in her now lifeless eyes. I see it all; I feel all of it; how could they do this to my sunshine and soul?

If only I could take it away, all of it, everything she is feeling. I don't know if I could handle it, but it's better for me than her. "They are gone." I lock her eyes, trying to find any strength in me to use. "I'm all alone." She whispers.