Recovery

Chapter Forty-Four: The Start

"I wanted to try to talk about everything that's happened so we can move on."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel that we're kind of stuck in a loop where things are fine, but then not too long after, something happens. I feel that if we talk it out and get closure, then we will be able to get out of the loop and move on."

Chaewon nodded her head, surprised by the sudden shift in maturity, "Okay, what should we start off with?"

"Where our problems started. The incident. I still feel really guilty about being the reason why you tried to off yourself."

"You're not the reason, Mr. Kim. Sure, you were the last straw, but that doesn't mean everything's your fault. I've been through way worse than what you did that morning."

"But it's the fact that I betrayed your trust-"

"You didn't do it on purpose. I understand that. Sure, I wasn't happy about it--I even hated you for a bit, but I know that deep down it wasn't your intention to do something like that."

The radish maid stepped forward, taking Y/n's hands into hers.

"I appreciate that you're still feeling guilty about it, but you have to move on. If you keep seeing yourself as a monster, you'll halt any progress you might be able to make and that'll end up hurting the both of us."

Y/n let out a low sigh, "What about you? Weren't you heavily impacted by that?"

"Of course I was. I even tried to kill-" Chaewon took a deep breath, "We can talk about that part later. We both know very well that we are both hurting here."

After a slight pause, Y/n felt Chaewon tighten her grip around his hands before letting go.

"I... I even tried to... "

"Tried to what?"

Chaewon stepped back, "Kill... you..."

Y/n's heart dropped.

"W- You- You what?"

Underneath the soft moonlight, Y/n stared at the now distant maid in front of her. She leaned on the railing for support as the guilt suffocated her. Following the confession, an eerie silence fell upon the two, only momentarily breaking with the sound of crickets. 

"When was this?" Y/n asked.

"A while ago... Do you remember your sleep paralysis that lasted only a few days?"

Y/n's uneasiness grew. He knew what Chaewon was going to say next, yet he didn't want to believe it. 

"That was actually me. Near the end of it, I brought a knife and planned to stab you in your sleep, but couldn't do it. If you hate me after that, then I understand. I will take any consequences that come with it as well."

Y/n froze. 

She tried to kill me? 

The boy's wide eyes only added to his image of utter disbelief. 

I could have died without knowing...

For just a few moments, Y/n felt a sense of animosity toward his maid. She plotted killing him in his sleep and played it off as if it never happened. As he stared at the radish girl, a thought sprouted in his mind like a parasite threatening to overtake his consciousness. 

She's next to the railing. I could just...

Y/n approached Chaewon, watching as she looked up with pleading eyes.

She's in a vulnerable position. She secretly wants forgiveness even though she just admitted to trying to kill me.

Slowly, Y/n placed his hands onto his maid's body with a slight smile before stepping forward with his body weight.