{~Deku one-shots with angst~}

Nothing was my Everything (I've never known more)

A/N: Hey everybody! Thanks for the wait! So, I'm just going to announce it here to begin with, but my new update schedule for all my fics is every two weeks! Since I have four ongoing fics, it's simply impossible for me to post all four weekly, and sometimes, the update schedules get irregular because I write whichever work I feel like writing, but that's gotta change!

Anyways, enjoy this chapter!

AU: Izuku has never known anything other than having nothing and being nothing of use.

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0.

0 is underlined, in the corner of his test paper, marked in bright, red ink, the smooth line covering part of his name, the ink slightly bleeding.

0.

Nothing.

Empty.

"Midoriya, this is just unacceptable. I understand your uh...different capabilities means that you may not be able to complete the work to the same standards as...well, everybody else! But that does not mean that you should cheat off of another student!" his teacher lectured, snickering and murmurs fading in and out around him.

All of them- just laughing figures without a face, without recognition.

Nothing.

"S-sensei, I didn't cheat!" Izuku yells, cries, his voice clawing out of his throat, like his desperation was flooding from his chest and out through his eyes.

The words don't come out.

Everything he says- the truth he says- it fades to oblivion.

Zero.

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Pain laces his movements as Midoriya tries to take off his shoes, his posture as casual as he can force it to be.

His tears are forced back, his hair the usual curliness, his clothes the same as when he left the house.

His eyes aren't.

His eyes are empty.

Bright, glowing green, like the leaves of rainforests filled with the chirping of birds and burn of sunlight now fades to sharded emerald, tormenting shadows and ugly lies swirling in them.

"Izuku, sweetie." his mother regards, voice more serious than usual, tears seeming to choke her words.

"Mum, what's wrong?" Midoriya gently places an arm on his mum's shoulder, and sees how they slump, a despondent gaze in her eyes.

The shimmer in them are only tears.

"You have to stop this."

Suddenly, the sleeve of his black gakuran is rolled back, and underneath lay a sharply contrasing series of purple bruises, red swelling, healed, and healing scars layering on top of eachother, a set of loose bandages barely concealing the ugly consequences of the freedom of bullying.

"Mum, I-"

"Izuku. I know."

The words aren't glowing with the usual pity and care behind it, not the "I know"s that Inko had uttered at the beginning of the end of Midoriya's dreams.

No, this time, the phrase was filled with frustration, with despair, with hopelessness.

I know...the one thing Izuku had never wanted to happen.

"I'm hurt when you're hurt, Izuku. You have to know that." Inko cries, hugging the boy tenderly, making sure to not trigger any injuries.

This is his fault.

His mum, in tears, in pain...because of him.

It was because he was too weak.

He was the most useless.

He was the zero.

"I know, Mum." But I won't accept that.

Really, Izuku could hug back all the tighter then, and let it all out.

Perhaps his mum would finally see that it is not that he is too weak, but that the injustice is too strong.

Perhaps this could've been the start to a less anguished future.

But Izuku doesn't say a word.

He doesn't accept when his mum offers to help him with his injuries.

He refuses to sit down, and he refuses to not help his mother cook.

He doesn't decline any opportunity to prove his worth.

And when his body is sore, when his smile even more so, Izuku will walk to his room with a cheery pep in his voice, and Inko will scream out in her desperation.

"Izuku Midoriya! Stop where you are right now!" the woman will cry, holding tight on the doorframe, so hard her knuckles turn white.

"When will you stop lying to yourself? When will you stop lying to me? Please, Izuku, let me help you."

Izuku is at ground-zero.

And so he carries on to his room, shutting the door behind him, and helpless tears are silenced in both rooms.

So close in body, yet so far in heart.

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Blood splatters onto the concrete, the moment having seemed to slow down until it was as if reality was warped.

The dark red seeps into the metallic grey of the floor, before the blur falls to the floor, a spike pierced through.

Sir Nighteye.

Sir Nighteye is-

But despite the urge in him yelling, screaming, begging for Izuku to save him, to prioritise those in danger, Izuku also knows that there are other heroes that will help Nighteye.

He knows his job is to save Eri, defeat Overhaul, and save more people from that.

But the pounding guilt in his chest does not fade while he soars through the air and releases the most amount of One for All he's ever launched.

The guilt does not fade after adrenaline leaves him tired and half awake in the hospital.

The guilt does not fade, as he watches the life fade from Sir's eyes, ironically watching another life in his last moments.

No, in fact, the guilt carries on with him, weighing heavy on his shoulders and heavier in his heart.

Surely, people break.

But if Izuku was to break, he'd fall to dust and never arise

(But is he already broken?)

———-
The night is alive, the stars dotting the dark blanket of sky, splattering around like paint to a canvas.

It's beautiful.

But Izuku can hardly notice it, as he stares at his life through his mind, his mistakes playing on and on and on again.

He chokes back crying out, because despite this being his room, he couldn't disturb his classmates who may be able to hear him.

Zero to Hero?

What a lie.

Turning to face back to his room, Izuku's empty at the sight of all his All Might merch.

"Never give up, young heroes! Try, and if you fall, try again. Resilience is one of the greatest weapons of all."

But what's the point in trying if it just proves I'll never be enough?

——-
A/N: Hope you liked it and remember you are always loved and that with each moment you feel useless, someone is happy because you did something that helped them. As humans, we tend to not look on the other side of things, and that goes for positive things too!

If you're struggling, there's always someone that will be there for you, you just have to find them!

Have a Plus Ultra day/night and till next time!