Mourning You (when you're right here, infront of my eyes)

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A/N: Hi everyone! Once again, super sorry for the LONGGG hiatus (1 year sheesh!) I've been on! My exams that have haunted me for so long are finally done, so, here I am! I can't promise a consistent schedule, but I'll certainly try, as I get back into the flow of things! 

And: Happy (early) Bd Izuku! Of course, to celebrate, I had to make a chapter filled to the brim with angst <3

Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter, love a little platonic BkDk angsttt. This unwanted jealousy trope (?) is something I really love to write and read (as long as it's not OOC) and I really don't think it's healthily explored enough! I'd love to write this more, so let me know if you want to read it more too!

AU: He's been jumping and reaching for so long, but how come Izuku will never be the one with the wings to share the skies with him? 

AKA: 5 times Izuku felt mournful of Katsuki's friendship +1 time...well..

ALSO, for the sake of the fanfic, Katsuki did NOT apologise to Izuku about everything before, when Class 1-A were trying to rescue him back. He still cared, and made an effort to bring him back, but no apology yet! 

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1. 

The silence was heavy, as they both stared tensely at eachother in Katsuki's room. 

"You two go on up, we'll call you down for dinner!" Aunt Mitsuki had chirped in the brash manner she always spoke in, before ushering them to Katsuki's room. Though it had been years since Izuku had gone to the Bakugou's house (Izuku had been avoiding the visits for a while now), he could barely resist the instinct to slip right back into the warmth that emanated from this house. Could almost feel the inviting nature that seemed to ooze out of every crevice here, could almost lean into the homely embrace of nostalgia.  

It was so easy to lose himself in this house, pretend that he was still the little 4-year-old that was a permanent fixture here; almost another member of the Bakugou family. 

The illusion cracked at the angry tsk from Katsuki, the sound pulling Izuku back into the cold, sharp reality of the present. 

"Are you gonna carry on f*cking staring, useless Deku?" the blonde angrily snapped, plopping down on his meticulously laid bed. 

"Uh- sorry Kacchan! I-I'll stop." Izuku stammered, looking away immediately. He was treading on eggshells, each breath cautious and vulnerable, ready to drop him straight into the abyss. 

Oh Kami, the anxiety was going to make him crazy.

"Listen here, Deku." Katsuki spat out, glaring at the grenette with overflowing spite. "If you stay out of my f*cking area, then I'll get out of yours, got it?" the blonde exasperated, placing a smothering hand onto Izuku's shoulder. 

He was paralysed- all he could do was stare helplessly at the very face that once smiled at him in adoration.

"For god's sake, do you get it or not, Deku?!" Bakugou yelled, causing the grenette to startle. 

"Ye-I-" Izuku stammered out, before the blonde shoved him onto the floor and stormed out the room with a bang. He rubbed at his aching head gently, groaning in pain. Glancing to his left, viridian eyes caught sight of a ragged cloth hastily shoved underneath Katsuki's bed. 

Izuku peered at the door. Waited for another minute. It didn't seem like the blonde was coming back in for a while, so...the grenette averted his gaze back to the cloth. Something about it seemed strange- or rather, familiar. 

With one last glance at the doorway, Izuku tugged the cloth out, wrinkling his nose at the tiny plume of dust that ascended as a result. Now out from the darkness, the red, blue and yellow colours of the blanket was unmistakable, as was the pattern of All Might's face on it. Despite the worn corners of the blanket suggesting affectionate use, the greying, dismal face of All Might said otherwise. 

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