Jimin's Angel • PJM

Forty One

You'd been up late with Kookie and Jimin, so you were a little surprised when Kookie returned to his apartment next door. You'd thought he'd stay and you'd all wake up together in the morning like the first time it had been the three of you. Instead he'd kissed the two of you several times before slipping out of the bedroom in a robe leaving you alone with Jimin.

"Let's get a shower Angel." Jimin tugged you from the bed with a smile.

"Wait." You tugged back and he let you until you were both sitting on the bed again.

"What is it?" Jimin pressed two fingers against your jaw and tilted your head upward until you looked into his dark eyes.

"Why didn't we have sex tonight?" You tried to say the words without accusation or more weight than they deserved.

"We had a lot of sex, all night. What are you talking about?" You could tell he tried to laugh it off but you could see in his eyes he understood exactly what you were asking.

"No, Koo and I had sex, you mostly watched and played around with us. The two of us definitely did not have sex." You tried not to pout up at him but you were suddenly feeling insecure.

"You mean the two of us didn't have traditional penetrative sex." Jimin grinned biting his bottom lip and you shoved him with one hand.

"Stop don't make it weird, I want to know why." Now you were pouting and he dragged you into his lap kissing your cheek.

"Didn't I say I was giving you to Kook?" He said it so simply like the explanation was always right there in front of you.

"And?" You pressed him, this wasn't the whole story and you needed to know what was happening.

"And sex with you is never going to be casual to me. When you said in the car that we aren't back together it made sense to me, I accept that, but it also made me want to protect myself. It's why I called Kook, things felt lighter with him here, clearly they were lighter because both times he left the room tonight you hit me with heavy topics." Jimin's fingers stroked through the hair at your temple gently as he watched your face.

"Nothing I feel for you is casual Jimin. I just think we need to do what Sujin suggested; talk about what we both need from a relationship and see if we can actually make it work. We both need to deal with our issues together and separately with a professional. I can't lose you again, it's too hard and it feels too awful." You cupped his face in your palms and kissed him gently.

"I understand, but it means we can't have sex. Because when it's with you, sex means something to me. It means you're mine, that you belong to me as much as I belong to you. We can't do that while we're in between." Jimin's eyes were soft but there was a lot of hurt in them, feelings you knew had nothing to do with you and everything to do with how he'd formed attachments because of 'her', you couldn't even think her name.

"What we did tonight doesn't count?" You were becoming aware of the fact that neither of you were wearing anything and pushed down the urge to want to cover yourself.

"Not in the same way. I've shared lots of women with the guys that weren't my girlfriend. I usually didn't have sex with them if we use your definition."

"I can stay at the apartment with Aiyun, I'll just get security or something."

"Do I need to tie you back up? Didn't I say that wasn't an option, that I need you to stay here?" His grip on your waist tightened, his voice tipping up an octave with stress.

"I can sleep in the play room or the couch then."

"You can sleep right here with me so I know you're safe."