The Mated Four

Congrats Alpha

Camille P.O.V.

"Cami, do you want to become the howler's Alpha?", said Grey, did I hear that right? Becoming an Alpha? the idea immediately excited Aurora who despised being an Alpha without a pack, but I- I hated that idea with passion.

I didn't say anything, just stared at him with confused eyes forcing him to elaborate, "After their Alpha- they need a leader, a pack can't survive without one and the howlers don't have any Alpha scion".  What he says makes perfect sense but why don't the howlers have any wolves with Alpha blood?

"Why don't they have any wolves with Alpha blood?", I asked him.

"It is strange, but when Aspen and Otis enquired about it none of the pack members answered. Maybe we can get Lily to tell us.", he replied while petting the top of Jace's head who was in his lap.

"Can't someone else do it?", I inquired with a sigh.

"Our pack doesn't have any Alpha bloods other than you and me.", he said making me wonder why, he continued with a sigh, "My dad died too early in a war before my parents could have more pups". The shaky breath and the crack in his voice were all signs that suggested unresolved trauma- has he ever talked to anyone about it?

Jace detected that too and kissed his jaw to prevent Grey from spiraling into negative emotions associated with his father's death- forcing him to become an Alpha too early for his age. 

"We'll have to stay apart if I do it", I interjected quickly.

"We can merge the packs, you know. Only a matter of time till we'll have to stay apart", he said happily. Packs can only merge into one when their Alphas mate with each other, something Grey obviously thoughts of before bringing up this proposition. 

Considering everything about this, plus being influenced by Aurora's happiness about the thought of being an Alpha. "Yeh I'll do it", I blurted out making wide grins appear on my mates' faces, even Grey who doesn't usually let us see what's going on in his head.

Thinking about my possible duties as an Alpha, makes me feel great instinctually but not as someone with three mates in another pack. Looked down at Ellie, who fell asleep not long after the movie ended while the three of us continued to chat. 

She looks so gorgeous, a beauty that even that goddess up there couldn't compete with. Lightly shutting her eyes whilst she clings to me, trusting me with her sleeping self. I don't want to leave her alone ever- she's too innocent, too pristine, but I do understand we have to make sure that the howlers aren't all destroyed- the ones who surrendered anyways. 

"Thanks love", Grey said before he bending down to capture my lips with his, a deep kiss that neither of us wanted to end. It's different while kissing him than it is while kissing Ellie or Jace; the both of us always fighting for dominance with our tongues, always keeping each other anticipating.

Grey's lips feel so firm and desperate against mine, he always kissed me like it'd be our last kiss- filled with desire and hunger for me, making me feel things I didn't know I could possibly feel. The things I wanna do to him, and the things I want him to do to me run against the hardwired structure of my brain that screamed that I'd always be afraid of doing these things. For a second I allow myself to cherish my desires without the past knocking at my door to make it all go away.

I'll never forgive him or myself for turning me the way that I currently am- doubting every move towards my mates, wondering if it finally would be enough to push me over the edge.

No- just no- can't think about this shit right now.

"Well, I need a shower after that", said Grey to bring me out of my chain of thought. 'that' being a very intense kiss that got me bothered too- although in a different context altogether.