Help me

[Eng]

11.05.2022

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being such a mess. I'm sory for always make you feel bad or something or pissing you off, I just want to trust you because you told me I could always tell you anything.. but I know if I did you would get sad and angry out of worries and I don't want you to. should I back off? tell me honestly. please
even if you say no I will know that you don't mean it because you are getting annoyed and angry at me being like this. I mean, I see it in your anger and your sadness, you deserve better. you deserve a sweet, lovely girlfriend who is able to give you all I need while I can't. because I'm not enough and I know. so please go look for someone who's better for you, please change your feelings from love to hate and let me go. I promise it will be worth it
and I know, when you're at this point reading it you are about to tell me "no it's not, you're perfect and I only want and need you" but hear me out. One day I'm gonna die. I'm just gonna leave you behind because of the words somebody else said to me, because of everything you, my family, my friends and all the other people said to me. and I wish you wouldn't notice. I'm not worth that you get into that pain so please go on. leave me. I beg you
but again you will say no. but why? I already helped you to get up but you need to go an, you need to stand up higher, taller than all the others. now you are able to help other and getting a good man. but not with me. change your feelings please.