21/09/2022
We just wrote our geography exam and I think I really fucked up so bad. I think I'm fucking up school in general, this year and I don't know why I do study and mostly do my homeworks. I do work in class, like always. I am always listening and doing my tasks, but it seems like I am just not able to stand all of this I am disappointing my parents, because I don't get that good grades anymore. I kinda hope I die or get at least my score to be as high as it used to be. I don't know. It's not Just my parents It's also me I think it is not good enough for me, for my fucking future or anything. I hate myself for (kinda) failing everything I hope that this exam isn't as important, maybe like a little test? I hope I can get my grades back up, I simply have to.
And again paralyzed and again my parents yelling, and again the blood dripping on my floor, and again the tears running down my face, and again so many suicidal thoughs and again, again thinking about how to f'n kill myself. You know my parents (my mother) bought pain Killers for me You know, not pills. Kind of a powder. I'm asking myself if i'd be able to cut deep enough if I took them
YOU ARE READING
Help me
RandomTW Das hier ist wahrscheinlich nichts für Menschen, denen es psychisch nicht gut geht, die mit Depression, Ängsten oder irgendwas in dieser Richtung zu tun haben! Großteils sind es Gedanken und Situation, Texte die aus dem Moment heraus entstehen...
