15.06.2022
it's the way I'm pissing them off.
I'm pissing them, because I'm not good enough, not able to be enough, not able to do anything right, I'm pissing them of by not hiding myself, my monsters good enough, I'm pissing them them off by not being able to hide my emotions and struggles, I'm pissing them off because they know or Don't know the truth. but would it change anything if I told them the truth? the naked and full truth? maybe they would get even more pissed, telling me it's not real, telling me that's just in my head and telling me that it is my fault. what if they just left, because I'm crazy, because my brain's broken. what if they use it against me? what if they just leave? what if they just take my everything away, my blade, my rubber band, the things that keep me from going crazy, what if the would raisd their voice? what if, what if, I'm slowly drowing in the what ifs, once I fell into that, I had no chance of getting out of there, everybody, everything makes it start getting harder, everything feel like nothing, everything they said left me cold, everything they did, didn't make me feel what I am supposed to feel, everything's just leaving me without even getting to me. it feels unreal. I'm slowly drowing and the monsters in my soul are getting louder but I can't speak up, they are getting worse but all I can do is getting friends with the monsters
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Help me
RandomTW Das hier ist wahrscheinlich nichts für Menschen, denen es psychisch nicht gut geht, die mit Depression, Ängsten oder irgendwas in dieser Richtung zu tun haben! Großteils sind es Gedanken und Situation, Texte die aus dem Moment heraus entstehen...
