19.06.2022
Are you okay? Are you okay? You're asking that pretty often lately, aren't you? Why are you asking?
Are you okay? NO, No I'm not, help me, save me, why don't you see it? That's my mind but I won't tell you, I will lie, lie as always and tell you that I'm fine or simply nod, and you don't know that it's a lie, do you? If you do, why don't you say a word, why don't you save me? I think you don't see it, maybe, why are you asking if I'm fine, if everything is alright that often? I AM, understand that, Unterstand that shit.
Why you asking? Did you see the tears in my eyes if they said smth or raised their voice? Did you see the moment of pain in my face in some situations? Did you see the panic when somebody asked About the thing on my wrist, asked if I cutted there? The answer is yes btw. Did you see the tears if I heard a specific song or had a memory? Did you.. did you.. get the idea that I'm not okay when I flinched bc you grabbed my wrist, knowing it hurt so much? This you know it in this moment? Did you.. recognice it BC I'm only wearing long sleeved?
God I'm scared as hell, I need to see you tomorrow, knowing that you might see this, knowing that you might know all these shit, you didn't react, you scared me, you scare me, I'm not going to talk to you tomorrow, I'm sorry but I can't, I want to die, why do you know, why am I so stupid telling you this, fuck I hate myself, fuck I regret it, fuck fuck fuck fuck
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry
YOU ARE READING
Help me
RandomTW Das hier ist wahrscheinlich nichts für Menschen, denen es psychisch nicht gut geht, die mit Depression, Ängsten oder irgendwas in dieser Richtung zu tun haben! Großteils sind es Gedanken und Situation, Texte die aus dem Moment heraus entstehen...
