Help me

[Eng]

Mom

And there we go again.
At this point, I really just wanna say ✨thank you ✨ to my goddamn mother.
I wish I'd leave, please go and fuck yourself. I hate you.
You're not making it any better, you're making it worse, but you don't even care about that lol
Shut the fuck up about me lying, shut the fuck up about doing nothing. Shut the fuck up, I can't do more why don't you see that?! What the fuck is your problem?
I can't take you so much longer, you really are becoming more and more like he is. Fuck you for that.
Won't make me "food"/tea in the morning for me to take? Okay, I don't care, I don't eat it anyway.
Won't drive me to the train? Well how do you think I am supposed to come to school then? But it's not my problem, it's yours.
I should move anywhere else and then I could do anything. Yea fuck you, if I could I would be out of there as soon as possible, bitch.
Making me feel "guilty" for something I never said? Ohh funny, I know what I said and I really don't care. I mean yea. My body will take the consequences, I'll hate myself even more but I don't really care about this at all.
If you're only there to treat my like I'd do anything wrong or am a mistake, then fuck you.
Don't you wonder when I move out as soon as I have the chance  to. Don't you wonder when I die from your words. Don't you wonder why I don't talk to you or spend time with you. Don't you wonder when I say it's fake when you're 'interested', when you're 'nice' once in a while.
You yell at me, for questioning if this is real, but by this you just show me it isn't. You shouldn't have gotten me. You really shouldn't.
You get like your husband, my "father" he's an asshole, don't you see that?
You're getting like him! Always yelling at me and never listening, saying this about me non of you should. Saying I yell while I just get louder to get heard, but then Yell at me?!
Also. He's insulting me from time to time and you know that. You heared that. But you don't care.
He's mean to you, so often and all I do is tell him to stop, to shut the fuck up because it's mean and he shouldn't say this, but all that happens is me getting yelled at?! Wow, thank for that, really.
you say you'd protect me from him, take the consequences from my behaviour but ma'am, wtf?! wtf is happening there, why is this?! it's him, I told you. he's not just complicated he's not good but you're scared aren't you? scared of being alone and scared of leaving him. ohh why don't you see what he does goddamn?
I even think he manipulated you into this, telling you I'm always lying, never telling the truth, that I'm a piece of shit, worthless, couldn't do anything right, wouldn't do anything at all. haha fuck you. if you ever read this, you'd be like "what?! no that not true" lady I heard you. I'm not deaf. I heard what he said. more then only once. always.
you're not giving me a Savespace, bitch. you barge into my room, my room that should be a save space but isn't because of you. because you don't care about me. because you yell at me in there. because you're the reason, you both are, for the blood that stained my fucking floor. and please, don't pretend to care, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. so please. Go fuck yourself.