25/09/2022
Good but not good news? N? I still have no idea what we are at the moment and that kinda hurts. I kind of want. N to be my partner, but sometimes It just feels like. fucking shit. sometimes she's just 0. seweet, caring, Roving? But the she is always of her phone, leaving my on read, talking to others mere then with me, eventhough he wanted to meet. Su wasn't even awake on time, eventhough she wanted to meet And then I really don't know Sometimes One needs wants to hold my hand and cuddle and sometimes. One olbesny want to be around As ohe omaked, so fucking often around me she even hought weed and had me walk there with me Also. she kinda made me feel like shit? Like I don't know. bout it hurts, but I don't want to hurt or annoy her I want to be with her, my mind 15 kinda all about her? I want to loss her, I want to know now it feels to kiss her lips. She can always. make me smile and kinda blush? I hate it, I hate ghat I feel like this for her. 7 love being around her but I hate to so much at the same time. I think. I love her? And I work to know how we are connected or better what we are of this point. I binde regret. today. I regret the thenty & my mother spent on the fucking train ticket. I could have had a new hoodie from this money.
Also, we walked so much today, eventhough my fin leg hurts so much and I still can't really move or hun with A. I still have no idea why this is. I Om so glad that 1 Om home in a litle more then half an hour. I mean, home 1st com really not a real home" but there is my bed, there are my teddys I don't like my parents, I don't like being around them and I just want to be somewhere else. alone. In the nearly dark. my music or something I want to finally feel Have and feel okay or domething I don't wont to need cutting, i don't want to attempt killing myself all the goddamn time. I hate it. I hote to fucking much. I really don't want to be here. Please help me get me away from here. let me leave, I mean I don't think anyone would really care if I just dissappeared. I mean they don't Red do. but I really don't think they do. say they okay you know. Nobody do does something about this hoone cares.. I wish somebody cares or saves me
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RandomTW Das hier ist wahrscheinlich nichts für Menschen, denen es psychisch nicht gut geht, die mit Depression, Ängsten oder irgendwas in dieser Richtung zu tun haben! Großteils sind es Gedanken und Situation, Texte die aus dem Moment heraus entstehen...
