11.05.2022
you told me you loved me.
do you remember the times when you told me I could always Tell you anything? I don't believe you. I can't. it's a lie because even though you know many things about me noone else knows, there are so many things unsaid. things that scare the hell out of me if I'm even thinking about telling you, because you can't understand. because I don't want to hurt or lose you. so I'll just keep on shutting my mouth and try to get the thoughts out of my head.
you told me you loved me but can't remember I'm a boy. you told me you loved me but can't remember my name. you told me you loved me but you scare me, you told me you loved me, but you still make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. you told me you loved me but you're still laughing over things that hurt me. you told me you loved me but you still can't see how much your words hurt sometimes. you told me you loved me, but you can't see the pain in my eyes when you raise your voice in worried anger. you told me you loved me but tell me are you able to love me?
you want to keep me safe but sometimes all you do is getting me near the darkness. you want me to see my "beauty" but why do you show off how ugly I am? you want me to see how good my life is but sometimes all you do is showing me the darkness, sometimes all you do is showing me the pain and all the bad things that can happen?
you scare the hell out of me when you just react in worried anger and get louder. I don't think that you will understand. maybe you just don't want to. but it's fine I guess, it needs to be
YOU ARE READING
Help me
RandomTW Das hier ist wahrscheinlich nichts für Menschen, denen es psychisch nicht gut geht, die mit Depression, Ängsten oder irgendwas in dieser Richtung zu tun haben! Großteils sind es Gedanken und Situation, Texte die aus dem Moment heraus entstehen...
