Chapt 28 ✦ Life without her

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It's been 5 weeks and I've been a fucking wreck

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It's been 5 weeks and I've been a fucking wreck.

She wouldn't return my calls, texts, emails.... nothing.

The only peace of mind I had left was that Leila and Sienna were keeping me updated. "She's just hurt Axel, She'll come around. Just give her time." Sienna tries to comfort me the best way she knows how as I nod my head, walking around Damien's kitchen.

Damien and Zach told the girls about our occupation and at first they were shocked but after that it's just been normal.

I never thought I'd be jealous of other people but Here I am. Jealous. All I wanted was her. To hold her, kiss her....just be with her.

In these past weeks, life has consistented of drinking constantly and killing targets. When Celeste and I broke up, I thought I was heart broken but this shit.

This shit is worst.

All I could see was her. Any thoughts I had were infiltrated with her. If I'm being honest, I hated this.

Ramsey calls me and I roll my eyes as I pick up. "Yo" I answer, expecting to have another target that I'd gladly take out to feel numb.  "Letting you know that I'm leaving for a month with family. So you guys have off for a month. Enjoy it" He says before hanging up.

I immediately go to the little mini bar in the kitchen and grab a bottle of vodka. I look in the fridge for something to chase and see nothing but juice.

Juice, which reminds me of her.

I hate it.

God...fuck her for making me like her so much.

Fuck her for making me like juice and fucking coffee.

I'd never drink coffee before her and now every morning, I was drinking fucking coffee. I look down at the vodka in my hand.

Chugging about half of the bottle before Sienna comes over and snatches the bottle. It feels like fire scorching down my throat but it'll be worth it if I can't feel anything.

"This will not fix your problems. God, you are just like her!" She grits and I huff, "Whatever."

"We have a month off." I announce them and the boys cheer, excited. "So you don't have to kill anyone for a month?" Leila questions, grabbing a snack out the cabinet and I can't help but laugh. She shoots me a look and I shut up.

"It's not like that. We only take people out as a last resort. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of scaring." Zach responds and she nods.

"Well who wants to go out because if I stay here. I'll start breaking shit" I state, tossing a glass to the far end of the room. Zach and leila agree and Damien looks to Sienna with puppy eyes of sorts.

"Don't leave me alone with him."  Damien says and Sienna slaps her forehead. "Fine" She agrees and we all cheer.

My plan was to get so drunk, that I couldn't feel her or think of her...anything to do with her.

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