BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2016

Chapter 10- Toxic Dumplings

Underlined = English

Underlined + Italicised = French

March 1st, 2016:

I had been having a productive couple of days that kept my mind off negative thoughts. I had asked Jeonghwa to feature on You Never Know and she had gladly accepted. Jiyong had also been delighted by my singing on his song and loved the initiative I had taken with the ad-libs. I told him Namjoon had helped and was the main brain behind it, but Jiyong didn't want to hear it.

We were also been busy rehearsing Fire and Save Me. I had done two more V-lives in one week and was far more active on Twitter. My OOTDs were a hit and ARMYs were loving it. Add school to the schedule and I barely had time to even think about things like the weather. 

Heeyoung was helping me more than she had ever done, and I knew she could sense a comeback was coming, though she never asked or talked about it with anyone else as far as I could tell. I had really struck gold with having a friend in school like her. I don't think she understood I saw her as a friend. She never seemed to let herself cross the line from fan to friend.

Timothée seemed to be quite stressed as well. He was being more open about our relationship with his two best friends (which I thought was good since it wasn't healthy for him to hide our relationship from his close friends) and one of them had texted me worried about him. I promised them I would call more often and try to see what was bothering him. But with my busy schedule, I was finding it hard to find the time where I could sit down and be in a mental state to have a serious conversation with him that fit within his schedule too.

In the end, it was him that forced me to have the talk. I was in the studio with Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jungkook in the early hours of the morning when my phone rang. Timothée was Facetiming me.

"Hey," I picked up the call smiling, though it quickly faltered after seeing Timothée's distraught-looking face. I quickly got up and left the room to be in a private space.

"What's going on?" I ask him concerned as I checked the dance studio to see if the other members were still in there, "talk to me".

"I don't know," he said through deep breaths, "I just feel so stressed and not myself... I'm going crazy".

The boys were in the studio and the locker room had some trainees in it so I decided to go up to the meetings rooms since they would probably be empty at this time.

"Are you stressed about your upcoming movie?" I question, trying to get to the root of the stress.

"Yes... but it doesn't feel like just that," he sighed, "like this is a big thing, I know. I'm the main character, but I can't help but feel that if I fail at this... if this sucks... I'm done. I don't have the strength to just keep doing failure after failure".

"Well, you don't know this is going to be a failure Tim," I say, a little surprised he was already stressed he was a failure without even having started filming, "aren't you working with Armie Hammer? He's a pretty big actor, no?"

"Exactly," Timothée exclaims, "what if I can't meet his standard? And Luca (director) wants me to learn Italian! How can I learn Italian in a month?"