BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2016

Chapter 67- Compromise and Sacrifice

Underlined = English

November 17th, 2016:

We had been rehearsing all day and I had managed to be able to get away earlier as promised. I texted Timothée to let him know and hopefully have him meet me.

Y/N: I think I'll be able to leave early

Y/N: I think we should talk

Y/N: At least to not break up on a bad note... if that's how you want this to end

Y/N: I really don't want us to end badly

He doesn't answer. While annoyed he was ghosting me, I knew he was hurt and trying to process everything. I had to give him space. I put my phone away and go back to rehearsal.

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We were taking a break and I went to get some hot water from the lounge. Jungkook joined me.

"So... Tim's leaving soon... have you done it yet?" Jungkook asks cautiously.

I don't answer him right away. He looks at me questioningly, expectantly.

"... yeah... It's become a sh*t show," I admit sadly, "he said he wanted to move to Seoul and then I had to tell him about Jongin, and it kind of went south from there".

"You told him!?" Jungkook whisper shouted shocked.

"I had to!" I whisper shout back, "if he were to move to Seoul, I didn't want our relationship to have secrets. Our next step would have been started with a lie, and I don't want that. We've always been honest, great at communication... but now he's ignoring me".

"Wait, so he's mad that you cheated on him?" Jungkook questions.

"I did not cheat on him," I shoot him a look, "Jongin kissed me. I think he understands that. That it was nothing. But he's hurt, hurt that I didn't tell him right away, that I was going to break up with him. Hurt that I'm not overjoyed that he wants to move here. I mean who wouldn't be, let's be real ".

"So, why aren't you overjoyed?" Jungkook says looking at me intently, "you scared people are going to find out?"

"Yes!" I semi-shout, tired of having to explain myself, "isn't it obvious? Timothée says he's a nobody, but I know he has it in him to become a real celebrity. He will, I know it. And people will question why he's based out of Seoul and come to the only conclusion: he's dating a Korean. And then people will go looking for who and I can't go through what happened with Kai again. My name is already destroyed after the trial, I couldn't live with myself if I brought another scandal to the group. I wouldn't be able to survive that. I want to be in the news for me, for good, for once".

"The group wants you to be happy Y/N, we'll deal with whatever happens," Jungkook counters, "and you're dealing with a lot of "ifs" here".

"I know you do, but this is also more than the group. I've worked so hard to be where I am and I can't help but feel like if I have one more scandal, I'm done. I'm already such a divisive name in the industry... do you know how hard that is to live with?"