nothing else but my heart's desire [COLLECTION] | FINISHED

Chasm - ORIGINAL PROSE

I cant explain it but when the camera flashes I think the world is ending; all that matters is one moment to grow old with, but I'm already older still and nothing seems to change. I'm never in the present, looking back only to move forward. My feet never stay still, they are always moving, walking straight to disaster, but if only I had looked before I fell. My eyes are blurry and the pain always there, always there grows, spreads through my body like a virus awakened, lying dormant but never truly dead. It reminds me I'm alive and I curse self awareness, for I feel it maybe better to live in ignorance, blissfully unaware of the chasm beneath my feet. One step, one step, one step.

Step this way,
Step that way,
Step forward,
Step backwards,
Step backwards,
Backwards,
Back,
Back,
Back.

Back.

I run, I realised too little, too late how much I'd come to appreciate the split second before darkness would pull me under one last time, that I'd hear no screams, no silence, only a soft whisper of my own voice in the gloom, a prayer eternally stuck in my throat, stating a truth so potent it could never be uttered, nor would it ever be.

I want to live.