nothing else but my heart's desire [COLLECTION] | FINISHED

K + J = E - ORIGINAL PROSE

Pieces of me, lay in the air all around and deep underground, hidden beneath skin and in my eyes as days pass and years stretch beyond time and comprehension. I feel you in the little things, I see you in others and sometimes, you appear as though summoned by some other power. I remember you, I remember your eyes, blue as mine and yet they fade each day, now pale, transparent, warm yet cold, faded like an old photograph. Pieces of me, pieces of you, pieces of the past embedded in my skin, but still it glows, it shines up like pennies, like treasure from times long past. You were the toy with broken parts, the car with missing wheels, the doll with missing legs, the wooden horse scratched and worn, I bear the wear and tear for all to see. I am the missing pieces, or at least I thought so until I came to realise screws and bolts, dresses and hands, all I needed to feel whole, complete, content, had long since fallen through the cracks of time. Maybe I'll always be incomplete, but I still get out of bed each morning, and I still feel the wind in my hair with each step, each breath, each sunrise. I smile with tears, I laugh as I cry, but I look back on all you endured and I still remember the sleepless nights, the shaky hands, the wicked thoughts, the self-doubt, and I smile all the same. You are me, I am you, and as I retreat to that space in my head where you reside, you ask me if it was all worth pushing the boulder up the hill, to run to all which scared us then and now, to smile in the mirror and not look away.

"Ask me next year," I say, its all I can ever say.