nothing else but my heart's desire [COLLECTION] | FINISHED

When it all fades to black - ORIGINAL PROSE

Jane felt life leave her, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand - fine, fragile, insignificant her life had become, but still she clung on, hoping for something more, hoping for the sense of relief which never came, as she would wake from her nightmare and return to the land of the living. The car had materialised out of nowhere, emerged from the gloom like the grim reaper itself, as it hit her, forcing her into a state of unconsciousness, as she felt the force of whiplash push her into the dark, as she searched, somewhere in her subconscious, for the light switch - aimless, lost, scared and wondering what she had spent her life doing, why she had hated each breath so much before, when she'd give anything to do so unassisted. And so she felt herself slip every closer to a state of eternal sleep, as she were forced into the threatre seat, watching reel after reel of her life: the good, the bad and the ugly. She hated it so, but soon found she could not look away, as she recalled brief moments of joy she had long forgotten, as it had become clouded by sadness and the overwhelming urge to shield her eyes (and heart) from the grief of lost time on terrible moment after terrible moment, all over again. She had spent her whole life running, but now she were forced to observe, to visit those happy, so very happy moments, cast in gold yet painted in subtle shades of pain, as if her hatred for the world, as if every other memory now coloured her view on all these joyful moments. How joyful could they be, if they were her memories? Even in death, she could not accept her own capacity for happiness and content, but it were only when she realised she could not hold on anymore, and she were struck with the knowledge that there was nothing else left but the emptiness, the void from which we came, she had one thought which carried itself from that moment until the end of time: I want to be happy.