nothing else but my heart's desire [COLLECTION] | FINISHED

Three years on - ORIGINAL PROSE

As I wave goodbye to summer, I feel the bite of winter so suddenly. But it brings with it fond memories, days I wish to return to every once in a while; days after Christmas, days by your side, days spent wasting them with you, as though I had a choice; days turned to night as quickly as it came, for you made hours fly by and a smile always upon my face, seemingly with ease. I wrote about you then, I always get this feeling in my gut when I meet another kindred soul, I start to feel you in the air around me, your heart always with me in everything I did. I never was able to speak clearly with you in mind, as though you brought a haze with you whenever you went, a spell you cast upon me with your every smile. I still look for you in the faces I walk past, I also still search for you in the books I read, as though these characters could only ever be based on you, with a perfect heart and perfect frown. I'll write about you forever, I'll note my heart down in verse, I'll sing of you and small moments lost to time, as though I ever had a choice, as though it were as natural as breathing, as pure and deadly as oil and lava. Winter brings with it regret, for I am reminded of those last moments as the snow fell and the sun slipped past my field of vision as night fell upon us. It were the only time I could reveal my true heart, and yours too, though I look back and believe I'd only ever have eyes for you, while your eyes never lingered upon me. Never once. Not at all. And how I screamed in anguish, how my heart broke and maimed me so as I did my best to stick it back together. And how your memory lingered so in my mind, like a ghost, to this day. And how you'll remain a shadow of what was while my life marches on, as does yours. I only wish you knew how you remain imprinted on my brain, for all time, even when I have lost all sense and reason, there you shall be, just as you have always been, just as you'll always be.