nothing else but my heart's desire [COLLECTION] | FINISHED

Mother, Daughter - ORIGINAL PROSE

Mother, where you are? Mother, where did you go? Where are you, now I need you most? Where is your heart, if it was there at all? Why do you look at me like that, like I'm the one you loathe most of all? Where is Father, why did he leave and never return? Why is there someone else here, what lesson am I supposed to learn? Why does one man leave and another show up? Why are you so concerned with their opinions? It makes me want to throw up.

Daughter, what's on your mind, why do you look at me like that? Don't you know I invented that glare, that I used to look at my own Mother like that? Daughter, why do you cry? Why can't you open up and tell me what's on your mind? Do you feel the way I feel, like you fell through a crack in time? Why does it hurt to think, to commit each word in writing and rhyme? Why did he leave, did he say anything to you? Is that why you can't look at me, is that why you can't look at me too? What can I do to make it right, can't you tell I'm trying? Though I fear its not enough, though I push it away and smile through tears - my heartfelt way of lying.

Mother, why do you cry the way you do? I can't help but feel like I want to cry too. But I'm angry and you put me in this place, I simply wish for you to know how you make me feel as though I'm always in last place. So I'll push you away too, I don't wish to speak or fear I'll never stop. Mother, why does the pain never stop?

Daughter, how do I tell you never to have children without breaking your heart? How do I say I live with regret, though I'd hate to see us part? You'll never know how much my self-hatred has infected you, I see the sickness in your eyes and I only wish it had spared you.

Mother, be honest and I'll forgive it just once.

Daughter, I can't shake off the dread I wasted so many precious years, I just wish to breathe only once.

Breathe? Can I breathe with you?

Breathe, and please live only for you.