nothing else but my heart's desire [COLLECTION] | FINISHED

ABCs of Depression - ORIGINAL POEM

And there it goes again, as if on que, as it does,

Because it needs to reminds me, forevermore, that I am alone,

Cross my thoughts again, onwards, as my day progresses,

Down I fall, all the way to my lowest, both in level and tone,

Even when I fight to pull myself up again,

Fear keeps me where I am, low as I am, all the same, each day,

Hung up to dry like laundry, hoping to search for peace some how, some way,

In those moments where all I want to do is weep,

Just remembering all I endured has its impact,

Kill or be killed, it happens every day, but still I search for my reasons to be,

Lament on past days, though in my heart I know they lack,

Melancholy always finds its way back into my heart,

No way out from the crushing depths of depravity,

Only thing left to do is jump first and see how I land,

Pause for a moment, look around to see and breathe still, floating in zero gravity,

Que the moment from which I cannot return, as regret sinks in,

Return once more to this place, at a future point in the timeline, just as I have before,

Seek wisdom in the cold-hard truth, as I lie here still during my kitchen reset,

Too late it seems as I have already reached the old, so very old age of twenty-four,

Until I age a year each day I live, as my face appears weak and hollow,

View from above as beings all-mighty look down upon me with pity,

Weep more in the face of oblivion, as I pull myself back from the edge each time,

Xmas always seems such a lonely time of year in this city,

You, my lonely self I have lived with forever and a day, until this day, my always companion,

Zealot until the last, always firm in your ways, as I am dragged down further each time.