nothing else but my heart's desire [COLLECTION] | FINISHED

A realisation on love - ORIGINAL PROSE

I loved you once, I loved you for all time, I loved you then, I loved you all my life, I loved you in the past, I loved you in the dark, all when I should be sleeping, instead I'm wide awake thinking, thinking that this isn't a love story, it's not the whole tale, how I don't care about falling in love or falling at all, this isn't a love story, not by far, I'm happier alone when I can finally breathe without fear of retribution, I feel at ease in the silence which follows, it's just how it has been, I've grown used to the eerie quiet, it's all I've ever known, so don't pity me, dear reader or friend, it's better to have never loved or risk losing all you hold dear, for it just weighs on my heart now, these burdens I carry, unable to push away these rotten feelings in my chest, unable to think clearly so I sigh, I sigh and wonder what it all meant, though I'm thankful to have learnt and know myself better, some lessons are learned best when walking through fire. I loved you but no longer, I loved you long ago, I loved you from time to time, I loved you in fleeting moments, for I have learned its best to live and let go, to allow my feelings to mellow and fade from existence, to say goodbye and allow them to rest, for people will always be people, as imperfect as they come, no matter what I think or feel, their actions shall always be their own, it came all at once, a sudden rush of realisation I cannot describe, except simply feeling as though you have just emerged from watery bliss, as you fought for breath against the icy grip of death's loving embrace, never having appreciated how refreshing it felt to fill my lungs once more. I am whole, partially so, a work in progress. You never loved me like I loved you, and I shall, still, always be who I have always been.