Captures of Perfect Timing (The Art of Life #1: Life Version)

30.

I like Avien. I really, really like her.

Unti-unti kong narealize na hindi na lang kaibigan ang tingin ko sa kaniya simula nang makaramdam ng kakaiba tuwing nakikita ko silang magkasama ni Harvin.

Dati ako lang ang kaibigan niyang lalaki pero bakit ngayon... parang nagkakatuwaan na sila? Bakit siya pinapansin niya... tapos ako na kaibigan niya, hindi?

Nakakainis. Nakakafrustrate.

"Anyare sayo, p're? Bakit ang tahimik mo?" Tinabihan ako ni Rovin nang magbreak sa practice ng ballroom dance.

Pinagpatuloy ko lang ang panonood kila Avien at Harvin na nag-uusap hindi kalayuan sa pwesto ko.

I wanted to approach her but I already knew she wouldn't like that. I couldn't do that when everyone's watching. She would feel uncomfortable.

Napa-iling-iling na lang ako sa sarili at ibinaba ang tingin sa sahig.

Tinapik-tapik ni Rovin ang balikat ko. "Huwag mo na kasing tignan para hindi ka magselos."

Agad lumipat ang tingin ko sa kaniya. "Nagseselos ako?"

"Huh?" Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Huh?" Kumunot din ang noo ko.

Ang alam ko lang nung mga panahong 'yon... masakit. Nakakaramdam ako ng kirot sa puso, inis, at pagkairita pag nakikita silang nagkakasiyahan. I wanted to pull Harvin away from her every time I'd see them holding hands. I wanted to interrupt every time they would talk to each other.

I didn't know that what I was feeling was already jealousy.

"Can you... at least explain why?"

"I just... don't want people to assume that we're together."

"What do you mean?"

"Akala nila tayo. Ayoko ng gano'n."

That was the reason she gave me. I didn't know she was bothered by that to a point that she'd ignore me. Kaya naman, nang magkabati kami ay sinubukan kong dumistansya.

Even if I wanted to be with her most of the time, I restrained myself from approaching her in front of other people as a way of debunking their assumption that we're together. So Avien wouldn't feel uncomfortable anymore and think of ignoring me again. 

I wanted to keep our meetings private kaya walang-wala sa plano na malaman ng iba na magfofoodtrip kami at sumama sila!

Buti na lang ay okay lang kay Avien at nag-enjoy naman siya.

"I like you."

"H-ha?"

Tinignan ako diretso sa mata ni Ailene. "I like you. Since... grade four."

My lips parted. I didn't expect that from her.

"A-alam ko namang may iba kang gusto..."

Napakunot ang noo ko.

"...Pero pwede bang sabihin mo sa 'kin nang diretso?"

"Na?"

"I-reject mo ko."

I pursed my lips. Ano ba 'to? Roleplay? Bakit may script?

"O-oh... hala... bakit ka umiiyak?" I panicked when I saw a tear fall from her eye. Agad din naman niya iyong pinunasan. "E-eto na nga... sasabihin ko na..."

"Gusto kita, Kiel," aniya. "Gustong-gusto."

"..."

"Sobra."