Captures of Perfect Timing (The Art of Life #1: Life Version)

00.00.20 - On Own Feet

Nakakatawang isipin na mas nag-aalala pa 'ko noon sa magiging kalagayan ni Kiel kapag nagkahiwalay kami without knowing na ako pala ang pinaka maaapektuhan sa aming dalawa.

Hindi ko alam na ako pala iyong nakadepende na sa kaniya dahil nang mawala siya sa tabi ko, para akong bumalik sa simula.

Akala ko nag-iba na ako. Pero ayun pala... I was only able to do things because I was with him. At ngayong wala na siya sa tabi ko, hindi ko na kaya.

Nahirapan akong mag-adjust sa pagpasok sa senior high kung saan wala nang Kiel na sasamahan ako kahit saan. Wala nang Kiel na magsheshare sa 'kin ng mga kaibigan niya. Wala nang Kiel na ipapakilala ako kung kani-kanino. Wala nang Kiel na nagbibigay sa 'kin ng confidence sa pakikipag-socialize...

Without him, I felt socially awkward. So during 11th grade, I just waited for people to approach me.

Pero dumating ang isa, dalawa, tatlong linggo, dalawang buwan... wala... hanggang sa nakabuo na sila ng kaniya-kaniyang circle of friends at naiwan akong mag-isa.

Mali ako para isipin na magiging katulad lang ng dati ang lahat. Gaya ng dati na sila na mismo ang lumalapit sa 'kin para kilalanin ako, makipagkaibigan.

I was wrong. Dahil hindi pala lahat kagaya ni Kiel, nila Erin, ng mga kaklase ko noon.

I was the one who needed to adjust. Nasa ibang environment na ako at hindi sila ang dapat mag-adjust para sa 'kin. Ako ang kailangang um-adapt. Hindi pwedeng lahat isusubo na lang sa 'kin. I needed to grow up.

To get to that realizations, I had to face a gloomy student life. My first few months in senior high school were lonely. Damang-dama ko ang panliliit tuwing napapaligiran ng group of friends. In our classroom, I felt like I didn't belong. It made me miss my junior high school classmates so bad.

[How are you, mahal ko? I miss you!]

Despite the gloomy days, I was lucky to have Kiel para pawiin iyon. Marinig ko lang boses niya, gumagaan na ang pakiramdam ko. Umuuwi pa ako palagi nang maaga para lang maka-usap siya agad.

"I miss you so much, Kiel. I'm fine. Ikaw? How was your day?"

I didn't want to let him know I was struggling. Aside from not wanting to dump my emotional baggage on him... my pride was also stopping me from telling him anything.

He was doing fine without me... tapos ako... gan'to? Hindi matanggap ng pride ko iyon.

"Tulog ka na sa higaan, Kiel." I turned on my mic when I glanced at him and noticed him leaning on his gaming chair already. Nakapikit na at nalalaglag ang ulo sa gilid.

He opened his eyes and sat properly. [Tapos ka na?]

"Nope." I was finishing my surprise video for his upcoming birthday. He thought I was doing my assignment. "Matulog ka na. I'm gonna turn this off."

[Wag mo off. Lipat na lang ako sa phone.] He turned off his PC and then, lied on the bed sideways while still holding the phone. [Samahan kita. Hintayin kita matapos.]

Napapa-iling na lang ako dahil halatang antok na talaga siya, pinipilit pa ring dumilat.

Nagfocus na ulit ako sa ineedit para matapos na. Buti na lang ay kahit papaano naman may basic skills ako ro'n.

When I glanced at Kiel, he already fell into slumber. Malambing kong tinawag ang pangalan niya at hindi na sumagot, tulog na nga. Napangiti na lang ako. "Sweet dreams, love."

Nang matapos sa ginagawa ay pinanood ko na nang buo iyon. The video was a compilation of our clips and pictures together and I chose Count Me In as the background music.