Captures of Perfect Timing (The Art of Life #1: Life Version)

00.00.18 - My Safe Haven

"You were talking to Kiel?" Mommy entered the room and closed the door.

"..."

"Alam niya?"

I nodded and averted my gaze. Buti na lang at medyo natuyo na ang mga luha ko.

"Give me the full name of that teacher. Pupunta ako sa school mo bukas."

Tango lang ulit ang naging tugon ko.

"Avien."

"..."

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi sa 'kin yung nangyari dati?"

"..."

She sighed heavily and sat beside me. "Look... I... I'm sorry... for shouting at you earlier... Hindi ako galit sayo..."

When I told her and lola about what Sir Rodriguez did to me, they were fuming mad. Ipapakulong daw nila siya.

I found the chance to also tell them about what happened in the past so I could fully let go of it already. But mommy got even more mad. That time, at me.

I should have told her daw so she could have taken care of it. Nang sa gayon daw ay hindi tumagal nang ganoon.

She told me I was dumb for letting that happen to me. Matalino naman daw sana ako pero bakit hindi ako nag-iisip at hinayaan lang na paulit-ulit akong ganunin. Hindi man lang daw ako nagsumbong.

That hurt me more, thinking she might had been right. Baka nasa akin nga ang problema.

"Avien... bakit hindi mo sinabi sa 'kin?"

"..."

"You don't tell me... anything."

"..."

"Palagi kang hindi nagsasabi..."

"..."

"Mas nagsasabi ka pa sa ibang ta—"

I faced her. "Kanina nagsabi ako... But you got mad at me."

"..."

"..."

"I'm sorry... Hindi mo kasalanan..."

Iniwas ko ang tingin ko. Sa mukha ni mommy, bakas na umiyak siya.

"I was just mad. I couldn't believe that happened... Hindi kita sinisisi... A-ang sarili ko ang sinisisi ko..."

In my peripheral vision, I saw her wipe her tears.

"It's my fault.. H-hindi man lang kita naprotektahan..." Her voice cracked. "I'm sorry..."

Nalipat ang tingin ko sa kaniya at agad naramdaman ang pag-init na naman ng gilid ng mga mata.

"Anak, I'm sorry... N-napabayaan kita... Patawarin mo si mommy..."

Tuluyan akong niyakap ni mommy at humagulgol siya sa balikat ko. She hugged me tightly, mumbling her apologies.

Getting affection from her was foreign to me. I didn't know how to react nor what to feel. Nevertheless, my tears raced down my cheeks.

"S-sorry... H-hindi ko alam na gano'n... A-ang bata-bata mo pa... Napakabata mo pa no'n... W-wala man lang ako nagawa... Hindi ko mapapatawad s-sarili ko... Hindi dapat yun nangyari sayo... I'm s-sorry... I'm sorry... H-hindi mangyayari yun k-kung hindi ako p-pabayang ina..."

Lumipas ang ilang sandali ay walang tigil pa rin sa pag-iyak si mommy kaya unti-unti ay bumalot na rin ang mga braso ko sa kaniya. "I'm sorry, mi..."

"Shhh..." Her voice cracked. "Don't say sorry... I should be the one apologizing... Y-you did nothing wrong... W-wala kang kasalanan, ha? I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier... Nadala lang ako ng galit..."