The Grey Area

Chapter 12

Samantha

It's been two long dreadful weeks.

Sirius and I barely saw one another. I've only interacted with James, Remus and Peter and honestly I was relieved. I needed the space for a bit.

But now it's just ridiculous and I rather rip the bandaid off so we can get back to normal. I walked onto the quidditch pitch where I knew the Gryffindors were holding tryouts.

I looked towards the stands and saw Sirius and James with their brooms in hand. Remus and Peter were sitting by them for support except Remus was busy reading a book per usual. I caught James' eye and he waved at me making Sirius look my way.

And god did it hit like a million bricks.

I quickly made my way towards them and James got to his feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he returned the hug tightly.

"Thank you for coming," he mumbled.

"I wouldn't miss you fools' tryouts," I replied and then looked over at Sirius. He gave me a small smile and I said, "Hi."

"Can we talk?" Sirius asked.

"Sure," I nodded and he got to his feet.

We walked a few feet away from the others and he grabbed my hand for me to stop. I removed my hand from his grasp already feeling overwhelmed with the gesture.

"I miss you," Sirius frowned.

I took in a deep breath and released it looking up at him. "I do too. Can we ... can we just stop avoiding each other now?"

"I would very much like that. I've been miserable," he admitted.

"Is there anything .. else you want to discuss?" I asked.

He put his hands in his pockets and released a shaky breath.

And there it is.

"Would you hate me if I said no?" He mumbled.

I looked at the ground for a moment and of course the dismissal hurt. It hurt because it's him and my heart hates me. But ... a part of me understood. I've been so frustrated with my own emotions I didn't really consider his. Maybe this was truly for the best.

"No. I could never hate you," I replied meeting his eyes once more.

"Fuck.. thank you- I just- it's just a lot and you're everything to me and I can't fuck that up-"

"Sirius it's ok. I understand. And I'm sorry for lashing out-"

"Don't even apologize to me. I humiliated you and .. and hurt you and I am so sorry-"

"Oh shut it. Come here," I said cutting him off.

I gave him a tight smile and pulled his jacket. I slipped my arms around his waist and his arms immediately wrapped themselves around my body. I buried my face into his chest taking in his scent. I relaxed into the feel of him and I can feel his body also become less tense by the second.