The Grey Area

Chapter 18

Samantha

I walked beside Lily listening in to her vent about classes. I'm glad she was feeling better after yesterday's display in the hall. I was awake with anxiety wondering how she would treat me following after that. I know I defended her. I just also felt... indifferent about it. And I knew what it was. After all of that I still had to walk along the crowd who bullies her.

I haven't seen the boys since then either. I kept replaying James expression when he looked at me. James always understood but that was the first time he didn't look so understanding. Sirius face probably shattered me. I didn't mean to say what I did but everyone knows, on both sides, I will protect Severus against anyone.

With that being said I'm not talking to him either. It's exhausting to be in the middle all the time with my boys and my brother. Fucking exhausting. What Severus said was uncalled for. The boys were already walking away.

"Are you listening?" Lily asked.

"I- I'm sorry. I'm just thinking about yesterday," I sighed.

"You know I don't blame you right?" She frowned.

"It's just- complicated. It never used to be until now," I replied as we walked in the courtyard.

"What's complicated?" She asked as we found a spot under a tree.

I helped her set a blanket on the ground and we settled ourselves against the tree stump.

"I just feel like I'm in the middle. Before it used to be basic teasing between my house and yours. Now it just feels... heavier. Everyone used to argue about who was better in classes and house points but now? It's about .. status and blood purity."

"I get what you mean. I never used to be afraid of your house. I am now," she admitted looking at the grass.

I looked over at her and felt my stomach twist. "I'm sorry Lily."

"It's not your fault-"

"I should do more-"

"No you shouldn't. You got to protect yourself Sam-"

"And who's going to protect you?!" I spat and she gave me a warning look. "Sorry. I just- I'm losing it."

"You're my sister Sam. I know you want to protect me but at the end of the day you live with them. You need to be careful," she said grabbing my hands.

"Sorry to interrupt but can I join you?"

We both looked up at see Klara standing with her bag over her shoulder. I gave her a smile and Lily gestured for her to sit. They were cordial but they weren't particularly friends. Lily was a bit too ... uptight for Klara.

"How's your day going?" I asked noticing her low mood.

"I'm exhausted. I had to sit through another long conversation with Narcissa about what's expected of me next year and I just simply want to sink in a hole and die," she groaned.

"What is expected of you exactly?" Lily asked.

"Well sweetheart I am expected to be a respectable woman with perfect grades and to be courted by a man my brother chooses. And you know, how to plan a perfect ball, how to boss around house elves, the appropriate way to raise a child- need i go on?" Klara asked while Lily blushed at the response uncomfortably.