Is this what you call love?

9-R

"So did you have fun today?" Chan ask me.

"I think so. I played games with Judy then Lucy said we can try getting to know each other but I have to pay for her time though but if things go well then I don't have to" I share with him.

"Lucy again? I thought you were done with her?"

"How can it be done when it never started?" I ask.

"Just be careful, okay?" I look at him.

"Why? Is it because I have to pay to get to know her?"

"We just don't know how she is yet. You're not really the best at reading people and I'm not saying that I'm good at it but just be careful. I can tell there's something about this girl that intrigues you so it worries me because you might be experiencing new things and I don't necessarily know if Lucy is the right person to experience that with" he tries to explain.

"Experiencing new things?" I question.

"Well, you went back to that bar for Judy and somehow Lucy is being mentioned again. Shouldn't you be more excited that you got to spend time with Judy but instead you seem excited that you'll be able to spend time with Lucy" he points out.

"I don't understand what you're trying to say" I honestly admit.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. Don't worry about it" he smiles at me.

"Do you not like Lucy?" I ask.

"I don't know her enough to say whether I like her or not. I'm focused on you. I think it's random that she's suddenly okay with you getting to know her as long as you pay for her time."

"I mean she has to make a living so I'd say that's pretty logical" I explain and he laughs.

"Of course you would see it that way."

"So what's for dinner since you picked me up early from the bar" I ask.

"Do you not remember why I'm picking you up?" He glances at me.

"Because you want me home?" I say, wondering why he's asking the question instead of telling me what's for dinner.

"You have an appointment with your psychiatrist, Ryujin" he says in disbelief that I forgot about it.

"Oh yea. I forgot that's still a thing" I chuckle.

"Did you not notice that we're not going in the direction of our home?" He shakes his head.

"I thought maybe we were picking something up for dinner. I don't question your methods as long as I'm fed."

"We'll talk about what to feed you after your appointment, okay? Try not to shut her out this time. She's there to help you" he reminds me.

He doesn't know the details of what my psychiatrist and I talk about but he knows that I don't always make it easy for her. I usually share how my sessions go with him.

"I promise" I raise my right hand.

He parks the car and I get out by myself.

"I'll be here to wait for you" he waves at me and I nod before walking away.

I walk to the office and check in. I sit in the waiting area for my turn. How did I forget I have this appointment today? I'm not even prepared. I probably smell like the bar so she might think I resorted to drinking my problems away.

"Ryujin?" My psychiatrist calls my name and I stand up to follow her.

"How are you doing today?" She ask as she closes the door to her office and I sit down in my usual spot.