Is this what you call love?

51-Y

I'm currently trying to focus on work right now but I can't stop thinking about Ryujin. It's been a week since our disastrous date and I haven't heard anything from her. I've texted her a few times and called but she didn't answer any of them. I thought about going to her place but I don't think I should go there unannounced.

Ryujin's mom is not upset with me which is a surprise. I only know this because her and my sister still spend time together. I'm glad that my relationship with Ryujin didn't affect how she treats her because I know Jinni is really enjoying having a mother-like figure to look up to.

Chaeryeong and I are okay. She did apologize the following day for being a bit insensitive toward me. She really has a soft spot for Ryujin though because I remember how she's always trying to understand her even from the beginning.

I do miss Ryujin a lot. I actually miss her randomness and when she would randomly change the topic of our conversation. I miss seeing her face when she tries to read my facial expression.

I take out my phone to see if I have anything from her but just like before, there's nothing.

I sit back on my chair and I look up at the ceiling. My heart is hurting but it was also my choice to push her away so I don't know what's wrong with me.

"You look sad" I look at the doorway and I see Beomgyu giving me a small smile.

"I'm guessing you've heard" I sigh and I rest my arms on my desk.

He slowly nods and he sits down in front of me.

"She's gonna be okay. It's not the first time that she's been admitted" he says and I give him a weird look because I don't know what he's talking about.

"Ryujin? She was admitted to a psychiatric clinic. I thought that's why you've been so gloomy the past week because you miss her" he gives me a weird look now. I guess no one told him about what happened between me and Ryujin.

"No, I didn't know. Do you know what happened? Ryujin and I kind of fought so we haven't spoken this week" I calmly say but inside I'm extremely worried.

"Oh" he breaks eye contact and scratches the back of his neck.

"She's doing okay now from what I've heard from my mom. She should be released soon. I'm sorry to hear you two fought though" he awkwardly says.

"Sorry, I get uncomfortable when I hear about couples fighting. I grew up with my parents constantly arguing and it really makes me anxious."

"It's okay" I stand up, "Is it okay if I leave work and maybe come back later tonight. I'd like to see Ryujin's friends."

"Sure, go ahead. If you can't come back tonight then that's fine too" he gives me a thumbs up.

"Thank you" I quickly gather my stuff and I run to the bus stop to go to Ryujin's place.

In the bus, I call my sister.

"Jinni, why didn't you tell me that Ryujin was admitted to a clinic?" I ask as soon as she answers the phone.

"What?" She says and I'm not sure if she really doesn't know or if she's faking it.

"Beomgyu just told me that Ryujin was admitted to a psychiatric clinic. Did you really not know?"

There's a long pause before she answers, "I did know."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I accidentally raise my voice. I look around the bus and they're looking at me so I raise my hand and bow a little to apologize to them.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I kind of whisper shout now.

"I didn't want you to worry. She's doing okay now. I also didn't want you to somehow think that it's your fault as to why she was admitted. You are my sister so I know you" She explains.