Still Dunno

Chapter 38 - Judgement Day

Joslyn's POV

Rick climbed over me, mumbling incoherent words I couldn't understand. We just did a line of coke and were going to have sex. His hands were rough on my skin, but I couldn't get enough of them.

My eyes popped open, and I shivered at the memory.

Was it a memory? I didn't know.

"Joslyn? You have to get ready to go," Dad said from the hallway.

"Okay, do you have Molly?" I asked.

"Aunt Sabrina took Molly this morning," Dad said.

"That's right," I mumbled. "I forgot."

"It's all right, honey," Dad said.

It's been crazy!

That's the story of my life, right?

I woke up in the hospital. Shocked to learn that ten days had passed since I left that Saturday night to go out with Christopher.

Christopher.

No, I wasn't thinking about him now. I couldn't afford to.

Whenever I thought of my cousin, my blood boiled. The bastard never came to see me in the hospital. He didn't even call me.

He sent me a text asking if everything was cool.

Is everything cool?

What the fuck?

No, Christopher.

Nothing was cool at all.

I was in so much trouble. I was looking at jail time, fines, and I could lose Molly, and that fucker wanted to know if everything was cool?

I didn't answer and eventually blocked him because he wouldn't let me be.

He was probably worried I would rat him out.

I wouldn't.

I didn't.

Sure, it was Christopher who got me to the hotel, but I went along willingly.

I wanted to party and get fucked up.

And now I am fucked up in the worst way possible.

I got off my bed and went to my dresser to brush my hair.

You couldn't see the bruise that bastard gave me. The lines that were left were faint.

My body had recovered, but my spirit not so much.

I did things that night that I don't remember, but I know I am not proud of them.

I was drowning, and the shame and guilt were weighing me down.

I sighed and went to my closet. I pulled out my black jumper suit.

My lawyer told me not to wear black, but I didn't care.

I didn't bother to shower before I got dressed.

It didn't matter.

Nothing really did.

I would go to court with Dad and face my fate, then sit in jail and rot.

It was for the best.

I was a horrible person.

A terrible mother and an ungrateful daughter.

Everyone would be better without me around.

I sighed as I opened my door and went to the kitchen.