Secret Desires

✧ 30: No Going back

✧ December 26th

        The pounding in my chest and ears physically hurts as I straighten myself in front of him. His hair was longer now. It was black and hung in his eyes. My God, his eyes. The dark green stuck out against his pale skin. He had that same haunted look to him that he had the last time he came for me.

        "Don't. Scream." His words that night chilled my already frozen body.

        "I've missed you." As if that changed anything about what he had done to me.

        "You're so beautiful. You were always mine." Property. That's how he always saw me. I was nothing more than something to be owned and controlled.

        "I thought about you every day... Did you think about me too?" He asked it so simply as his hand wandered my body, violating and claiming me. I wanted to spit at him as he held me on the bed. I wanted to hurt him as he spread my legs apart and I could do nothing but tell him yes, that I had missed him too. The lie was sour in my mouth, but it gave me the limited time I had before that gun went off.

        "You came." I blink at him. I'm not sure what he's expecting me to say, but he sounds genuinely shocked. I offer him a small careful practiced smile. His eyes narrow so I let a bit of fear show in my demeanor. My control is strong right now, but my hold is wavering being this close to him.

        "I came," I say, my voice cracking. I clear my throat, looking to the car. "I did my part. You do yours." I was either bold or stupid. I couldn't tell at the moment. All I know is that I need to get Bailey and Cassie out of here safely.

        Nolan gives me a once-over as he sucks on his teeth. I try not to feel disgusted by keeping completely still. "Pick one."

        What did he just say? I can feel my eyebrows furrow as I look from the car to him. He pulls a phone free from his jacket pocket to check the time before raising an eyebrow at me.

        "Pick one, what do you mean pick one? You said-"

        "I said that if you came out in five minutes I would let them both go. You came out in six. So now you get to choose who stays and who goes. I suggest you pick fast before I drive off with them both." He waves his hand, gesturing for me to hurry. I waste no time going to the passenger side. I open the door and get inside. I'm welcomed by a blast of heat hitting my face and warming me too quickly. A violent chill goes through me as I close the door behind me.

        "You actually came?" It's Cassie who hisses under her breath at me. I position myself awkwardly on the seat so that I'm facing them both. David's jacket is tossed across the armrest until I need it again. Bailey is wearing what looks like one of Dean's hoodies and Cassie is still in her pajamas. She hadn't changed or had the chance to grab something to cover up. At least Nolan turned the heat on for them.

        "Of course I came. You thought I wouldn't?"

        "Does anyone know what's happening?" I bite my lip. It's not like I can really answer that question with Nolan standing so close. The driver's side door is open and though he wasn't leaning in, I know he's listening. This is the most privacy he's willing to give us. He's listening, but he can't see.

        "No," I tell her. But I'm nodding to them both. She exchanges a look with Bailey. It's knowing and hopeful. Bailey leans forward, eyeing where Nolan stands as she sniffles. Her eyes are red and her cheeks are wet.

        "No one knows he's here?"

        "I couldn't risk it," I say as I nod again. But there isn't much time for questions. I'm supposed to be picking which of my friends gets to go free while the other is trapped alongside me. I can't choose. I don't know how to choose. Of all the twisted scenarios I imagined where Nolan comes for me, I never imagined this.