Will Love Ever Come?

Chapter 111

THE NIGHT-TIME AIR WHIZZES past. As Eschewal runs and his lungs burn, he feels the first effect of his mental breakdown.

When he finally makes it home, he sits on his bed staring at the floor, clenching his fist. The rage which seeps through him, instead of making him feel like he wants to explode, puts his mind into focus. He gets up from his bed, turns on the light, and pulls out a suitcase from under his bed. He opens it and carefully removes the black book from the bottom of the case. He stares at the title:

HOW TO CREATE YOUR DESTINY

AND FOREVER LIVE LIFE

WITH HAPPINESS & RICHES!

He repeats the title to himself. He then opens the book and reads. He stops on the page that explains the role of volitional conceptual consciousness.

Volitional conceptual consciousness is a tool that helps one create new values. The purpose of creating new values (that provide positive stimulation) is to allow more values to flourish. Those who know how to create new values that provide stimulation run the world. Every need or want is connected to the same essence: stimulation. Whether consuming drugs or having promiscuous sex, the need or want for stimulation drives us all.

Eschewal turns the page and reads this paragraph twice: Once disconnected from those destructive forces, you will unleash the full power of your volitional conceptual consciousness. This will give you the ability to become a creator of values. Then, automatically, happiness & riches will flow to you.

He places his hand on the page of the book. His eyes show a hint of enlightenment; he feels he knows why he has not become a creator of values.

He thinks and says to himself, "It now makes sense. I had to unleash the full power of my volitional conceptual consciousness to become a fully volitional conceptual conscious being. Fully volitional conceptual conscious beings who take action create their destinies and receive true happiness & riches."

He smiles. He knows becoming a creator of values is not automatic in finding a wife or disconnecting from the destructive forces.

He shakes his head as a more profound understanding hits him. 'I had to disconnect from the destructive forces first, to free my mind to think, then take action and jump from producing values (working a nine to five, etc.) to creating values for others. Then happiness, riches, and romantic love will follow.'

He smiles once more at realizing he does not have to find romantic love to become a creator of values. 'I was putting the cart before the horse. All I've got to do is take action,' he thinks.

He looks around his bedroom and ponders, 'What value can I create?'

He grips the book. An idea comes to him. He takes out his phone and scrolls down to Tek. The same guy he swore he would never phone again. He presses call.

Tek answers.

"Yes, cuz what's going on, Tek?"

"Who's this?" says Tek, sounding confused.

"It's me, man, Eros. What's popping?"

"Ah, Eros. I haven't heard from you for long. What's going on, gee?"

Eschewal's heart rate speeds up as he tries to control his nerves. "Boy, nothing much, bruv. Oi, you listening? Have you got any moves running?"

Tek raises his eyebrows. "Moves? But I thought you left the road ting long ago?"

"Yeah, I have, but you know how it is; life is hard. I got ber bills."

Tek smirks. "Boy, I ain't really got anything running, still. I only got a little fraud ting running. Nah, forget about that. You wouldn't be interested in that?"

"What, what is it?"

"Boy, it's the import ting, innit."

Eschewal nods and thinks, 'Yeah, that sounds like one of Tek's dodgy moves. Perfect, I'm bound to get caught, and when I do, I'll be locked away from my self-destruction and be able to turn myself into a creator of values.' His eyes light up as he sees his destiny, him as a value creator. He nods and says, "Yeah, gee, I'm down with that."

Tek ends the call and puts things into action.