OH, Black Cats

113. Xavier Thorpe | Fake Dating HC II

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You're not sure how you ended up here.

"So all of a sudden you're into some literature nerd—" you flinch at the sound of Bianca's voice on the other side of the bookcase. "—that you're noticing now after two whole years."

Just that you'd rather be anywhere else in the world then one row away from Xavier and Bianca in the library.

You stiffen as you watch them between the cracks in the books.

You've been 'dating' Xavier for a few months now, and everyone feels fairly convinced that what you have is genuine.

Everyone except Bianca.

You can't deny that she has a point. It's not like you and Xavier were friends or something—and truthfully between the two of you, Bianca probably knows him better.

You catch sight of Xavier tugging on the end of his hair and his fingers, the way he always does when he's nervous, and instead of backing away Bianca draws closer. You know it's the wrong thing to do before her hand settles on his shoulder, before Xavier draws back and out of reach.

"It just happened, okay? I can't help who I fall in love with—" Again the ticklish feeling of hope swells in your chest, and again you swallow it away like a bad aftertaste. "—why are we even having this conversation?"

"You know why." Bianca's words feel like a dagger through the heart. He does know why. And so do you. But when he makes no move to say anything more, she huffs. "Find me when you figure out who your real friends are."

When she's gone Xavier tangles a hand in his hair, a heavy sigh whistling past his lips.

"That could have gone better." You say to him, on his right side.

"Yeah, I know." The words pass his lips before he can flinch in realization, a hand clutching his chest. "Jesus, when did you show up?"

"I've been here the whole time." He raises an eyebrow. "I was behind the other shelf." You point to the gap between the books and he sighs again.

"You should add eavesdropping to your list of skills." The words have no bite, you find yourself reaching for his hand, and this time he doesn't flinch away.

"If you still like her, you could date her." You regret the words as soon as they come out of your mouth, a shallow, lonely ache in your chest.

You're ashamed at the relief that floods through you when Xavier shakes his head.

"I liked Bianca a lot," he admits. You remember the way they used to look at each other, the arms laced around waists, the secretive smiles shared. "but I could never really trust if these were my feelings or hers." He admits.

He looks at you now, a fiercely passionate gaze.

"The one thing I learned from watching my parents is that if you don't have unconditional trust, you don't have anything."

Your back presses against the bookshelf, a sliver of space sandwiched between the both of you in between the library aisle.

"That's very mature of you."

He gives you his signature smile, a lopsided quirk on his lips, before cracking into a full grin–like he can't play coy any longer.

You're not sure when you started being able to tell when Xavier was really smiling, like now, and when he just pretended to smile–to charm a teacher or exchange a pleasantry with his classmate.

You're not sure when you got this close to him either when him tugging your joint hands to his chest felt normal. When he led you out of the stacks and to the cozy alcove you usually sat at on the third floor—when that spot went from being just 'yours' to 'ours'.