The Moonlight Lilac (UNDER MAJOR EDITING)

37 - The One Inside The Dressing Room

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Chapter 37 - The One Inside The Dressing Room

Looking at myself in the mirror, thinking if I deserve all this pain.

Two weeks have passed. Two weeks after Mykel's confession, two weeks after that disaster of a double date happened. Matapos nung insidente sa mall kung saan hinalikan ako ni Mykel, kung saan naroon pala si Thera nang mga oras na yun, ang daming nagbago. 

Matapos masaksihan ni Thera ang lahat nang mga nangyare, matapos magtama ang mga mata naming binalot ng magkaibang emosyon; yung sakin puno ng takot, sakit, pagkalito, samantalang yung kanya blanko at madilim, wala ni isa saming nagsalita. I remember Mykel asking her if she needs something, and she responded 'Nothing, I was just checking if you have gone home'. After that, she just nodded her head and left.

It was so awkward. 

Gusto ko siyang habulin nung mga oras na yun, gusto ko magpaliwanag. Hindi din ako sigurado kung narinig niya ng buo yung confession ni Mykel o ang naabutan lang niya eh yung parteng hinalikan ako nito. Pero kahit saan pa sa dalawang yun, gusto ko malaman niya yung buong nangyare. 

I remember how badly I wanted to let her know that Mykel confessed his love and I've decided not to reciprocate it and to finally let him go because she's all I want. She's all I ever ask for. I wanted her to know that...

I want her to know still. 

Pero matapos nung gabing yun, hindi na kami nag usap ulit. I tried calling her, I tried reaching out. But I have a feeling she blocked my phone number because I can't call her. I tried chatting her through TikTok, but she blocked me there too. So I guess, I'm right with the first one. Sinubukan ko rin siyang katukin sa kwarto niya kinabukasan habang may dala dalang almusal na ginawa ko para sa kanya. Wala eh, tanga ko. Pagduduldulan ko talaga yung sarili ko. Ipipilit ko talagang ipaalam sa kanya yung bagay na di ko nga sigurado kung interesado man lang ba siyang alamin. 

But after all the efforts I made that day, I learned from Dahlia that Thera left the country...

With Philip. 

Nag punta daw silang dalawa sa UK. Walang nakakaalam kung bakit. Biglaan. Maski si Harper na nag stay na sa mansyon, hindi alam. Maski yung dalawang kapatid niya. 

Kaya ako si tanga, walang ibang nagawa kung hindi umiyak at mag tanong kung saan ako lulugar? Kung ipipilit ko pa ba? Kung tama na ba? Kung sobra na, maawa ka naman sa sarili mo? Kung tangina! Ubos na ubos ka na pero umaasa ka pa din kasi baka sakali, baka sakaling challenges lang lahat 'to, tapos sa dulo kayo rin para sa isa't isa, tapos one day tatawanan niyo nalang lahat ng mga 'to.