Temptation

The Hurt

Soobin was moving out of his apartment. He couldn't sleep in his room and he hadn't done it since Yeonjun passed away.

Taehyun and Beomgyu came over to help him put things in boxes and take them downstairs. The couple could tell that Soobin's head was somewhere else while he worked, Beomgyu walked over to check on him.

"This is never easy." Beomgyu said as he stood next to him, helping him pack away his kitchen utensils.

"You seem to be handling it well."

Beomgyu gave a small smile. "I'm not...I'm trying to keep it together so Taehyun doesn't worry...you can talk to me you know."

"...what was he like?" He asked. "What was he really like? I didn't get the chance to ask him anything about his past."

Beomgyu started thinking. "Hyung was complicated. When we first met we weren't best friends right away but we did share an admiration for each other. When I joined he was still heart broken over someone he had lost previously."

"Who?"

Beomgyu shook his head. "I honestly forget the poor guys name. Yeonjun cared about him a lot though. He only told me recently, maybe a few weeks before he died. It was something he wanted to keep to himself but he told me, Yeonjun lost a lot of people. He was broken."

"I loved him." Soobin said.

Beomgyu looked up at him.

"When we got back and I saw the wound I was scared. When the doctor worked on him I held his hand and told him to keep looking at me..."

"Don't take your eyes off me." Soobin cried while looking at him. "Keep your eyes open Yeonjun, you'll be okay."

"Soo...bin." He gave him a weak smile. "I'm...okay."

Soobin stared down at him. "Y-Yeah, yeah you're okay." He kissed his hand. "Everything's okay."

"I'm sorry for everything." He choked out.

"No no, you did nothing wrong." He smiled at him. "You're gonna be okay."

He saw his eyes slowly drift over to the doctor. "I'm tired." He whispered as a tear ran out of his eye. "I'm so so tired."

"You can sleep after the doctor is finished fixing you up."

"Soobin." He looked at the doctor. "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"B-But I-"

"I'm okay." Yeonjun coughed up more blood.

"I love you." Soobin said suddenly. Yeonjun looked shocked as he stared up at him. "I love you, I love you and I wish things weren't this way. I wish things were different, I wish I could've been better and save you. If I could go back and change this I'd make sure you knew that someone truly loved you no matter how broken you are."

Yeonjun's eyes filled with tears. "Soobin...thank you." He cried gently which only made him feel worse as he coughed again gasping for air.

"Yeonjun!"

The doctor had Soobin removed and when he came back he was already gone.

Soobin bit his lip as he closed his eyes to keep himself from crying. "Damn it."

Beomgyu stopped what he was doing and hugged him.

"Hyung wouldn't want you to worry. He hated people worrying about him. He finally gets to rest." He whispered as a single tear ran out of his eye. "It's okay."

Soobin hugged him back as he hid his face in his shoulder.

They soon went back to cleaning up and Taehyun found a piece of paper folded up on the table.

"What's this?"

Soobin looked at it. "I don't know." He opened it and his eyes widened. "...I have to go. I'll be back in an hour help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen!" He said as he grabbed his things and practically ran out the door.

Taehyun and Beomgyu exchanged looks.

"There's no food in the-"

"Shhh, he's not the brightest person sometimes Gyu."

Soobin was following his GPS as he sped down the street.

"If I die, there are many things that I haven't said." He took a piece of paper out of his pocket. "This will tell you everything, but I trust you not to look unless you know I'm dead."

"I can't believe I forgot." He said to himself. The pair had an address in it, it wasn't too far but it was in a rough part of town. He came to an apartment and went up to the room. The door was left unlocked and honestly it didn't seem like anyone really loved there anymore.

When he walked inside he looked around and everything seemed normal. It was a normal apartment with furniture, a small kitchen, Soobin would've thought someone was still living here if he didn't see the tons of layers of dust on everything and the smell of rotten food.

"This has to be Yeonjun's old place." He said as he looked around. "Why did he want me to come here?"

He noticed paintings everywhere with the name Ahn Wonjae signed off on the corner.

"Ahn Wonjae? Who is that?" He asked himself as he stared at the painting. "Come on Yeonjun, what are you trying to tell me."

He kept looking and then noticed something on one of the paintings. He walked over to the one of a boy with his reflection broken in the mirror and bloody knuckles. When he looked he noticed a small piece of paper sticking out from behind it.

He moved the painting a little and saw a note taped to the back of it. He took it off and sat down to read it.

Soobin,

If you are reading this I'm dead and I want you know that I'm sorry. I knew there would be a day when my heart beat for another, someone other than Wonjae, and that scared me. I didn't want to stop loving him, I didn't want to forget about him, but for the most part I didn't want to get hurt again. I rather lose myself than lose you so I'm glad it was me and not you. I'm glad I can finally see my parents, I'm glad I can finally rest.

And if there is a chance that you felt something for someone as horrible as me I just want you to know that I feel the same way.

You were a safe place for me so I trusted to bring you here. The home me and Wonjae shared, knowing him is knowing me. Look around and learn about who I am, you deserve to know that much.

Soobin folded the letter back as he slowly looked around.

"Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while huh?" He stood up. "Okay Yeonjun, let's learn about the guy I fell in love with."

Soobin found many things, old pictures, journals, videos of Yeonjun since he as young all the way up until recently. Soobin found himself in awe with the man even more. He misunderstood him because he was never given the opportunity to understand, and now that he did he really regret not protecting him enough.

While he sat on the floor looking at everything he found himself being brought to tears all over again.

"I miss you Yeonjun."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I got busy and took forever to finish this chapter. We have about four or five chapters left I think. We will see what happens 😂