Loving Sandro Gunner Esquivel

Chapter 8

I need to reject him. I have to. But when I met his eyes from a distance, hindi ko na nagalaw ang mga paa ko. He looked so majestic and dramatic with the ray of sunset hitting him, while his eyes watched me like a hawk.

Humakbang siya palapit sa akin. Mas lalo lang akong natuod sa kinatatayuan ko. Hindi madilim at hindi rin masyadong maliwanag sa kinaroroonan ko, it is enough to probably hide my redness.

He is wearing a plain white shirt, sakto lang na humubog sa matipuno niyang pangangatawan. And his classic maong pants and black boots. Never have I thought that a simple outfit could make this someone look this good.

He stood in front of me, one feet apart. Mas lalo ko siyang napagmasdan ng mabuti. Mahigpit ang hawak siya sa bouquet. Napansin ko dahil mas lalong umugat ang kanyang mga kamay.

Tumikhim siya. He looks nervous as well.

"Thank you for coming. Akala ko hindi ka pupunta."

His voice was low and husky, as if I am the only one allowed to hear his voice kahit panigurado namang kaming dalawa lang ang nandito.

I licked my lips. Napunta sa labi ko ang mga mata niya. I cleared my throat and he immediately averted his vision in my eyes. Nanginig ang tuhod ko sa ginawa niya. I can feel my chest vibrating from too much nervousness.

Pero kailangan kong tatagan ang loob ko, I need to reject him fast. I will never ever like someone like him, ngayong nakikita ko siya ng malapitan, animoy hindi niya dinala ang girlfriend niya dito kanina. Na wala pa siyang karanasan sa iba at wala pang sinaktang babae. He is great in masking his playboy self, huh? But not in my watch.

"I only came here to tell you that I do not have any interest in having a relationship with someone right now." I let my cold voice speak those words.

"At huwag mo na akong lalapitan, it is making me uncomfortable. Ayokong pag-usapan ng mga estudyante sa campus." Tuloy-tuloy ang pagsasalita ko.

Bumagsak ang kanyang mga balikat. Maging ang bouquet na hawak niya ay nabagsak niya sa kanyang gilid. Nabigla siya sa mga sinabi ko. He licked his lips and clenched his jaw. Nanlumo ako ng makita ang dumaan na sakit sa kanyang mga mata. He immediately recovered, let out a chuckle, and softly looked at me.

I really hate it when he does this. Akala mo ako lang ang tinitingnan niya ng ganito, siguro kung hindi ko pa narinig ang mga balita tungkol sa kanya, maniniwala na ko ng totoo ang mga pinapakita niya sa aking emosyon ngayon.

He looked so raw in front of me, while I am acting tough and cold. I felt like it is unfair to see him this way, habang ako hindi man lang maipakita sa kanya ang tunay kong nararamdaman. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa malamlam niyang mga mata.

"I did not start yet, Sevie. I need a chance to prove myself...pero ayokong pilitan ka sa isang bagay na hindi ka komportable."

Nadurog ako ng marinig ang mga salitang iyon sa kanya. But I act like it's nothing. He chuckled more like he find himself and his actions ridiculous.

He stepped back, and shook his head. "I understand. Hindi ka pa handa at masyado akong mabilis. I am not yet ready too because this is the first time I felt this way for someone. But I can't take it. This is too much for me, I fell hard and fast." Lies. more lies.

He is really confessing right now, huh?

'Huwag kang maniwala Sevie, this is all just an act.' I act like his confession did not matter.

"Anything else?" If I speak another word, I am sure my voice will tremble and break.

He clenched his jaw more. Tila siya nabigla sa sinabi ko. He slowly withdraw from my stare and slowly back off. Nawalan ng emosyon ang kanyang mga mata.