Loving Sandro Gunner Esquivel

Chapter 45

Hindi ko alam kung umalis na ba siya. Hindi ko na rin tiningnan kung nandoon pa ba ang sasakyan niya.

Gracie did not call that night. As much as I wanted to talk to her para maglabas ng sama ng loob, she might be very busy right now. So I messaged her instead, paniguradong magpapanick iyon kapag nabasa na niya ang mensahe ko.

Hindi ako masyadong nakatulog. Alas singko ng gumising ako para makapag handa na, I'll tell them about their father after our breakfast. Bagong gising pa lang ako pero ramdam ko na ang kaba sa dibdib ko sa posibleng reaksyon nila mamaya.

"Nanay, I finished my milk na." Yesh excitedly informed me.

"Me too Nanay, look." Sumunod naman si Thiago.

I chuckled to both of them to mask my nervousness.

I washed the dishes first. Alas syete palang ng umaga pero tapos na kaming kumain. Malapit na akong matapos sa hugasin at mas dumagundong ang kaba sa dibdib ko. Muli ko silang sinilip at naglalaro pa rin sila sa may sofa.

I gathered my strength and washed my hands. Napahinga ako na malalim habang palapit sa kanila.

"Yesh, Thiago." I called their name and they instantly stopped playing.

Umayos sila ng upo sa sofa at pareho pa silang nakapajama. Yesh was wearing a floral set of pajamas and Thiago was wearing striped dark blue pajamas. Lumuhod ako sa harapan nila pareho. I held both of their hands and kissed their knuckles. Naiiyak na naman ako.

"Why are you crying, Nanay?" Thiago asked and wiped my tears. Ganoon rin si Yesh sa kabilang mata ko.

Their eyes panicked seeing me cry in front of them. Kaya kaagad kung kinontrol ang emosyon ko. Huminga ako ng malalim.

"Diba sabi ko hindi na babalik si Tatay?"

Tumago sila sa harapan ko ng paunti-unti.

I held their hand tighter. And I breathed in deeply before speaking.

"Gusto niyo bang...makilala si Tatay ngayon?" Kaagad kong pinunasan ang mga luha kong kusang naglaglagan.

Napasinghap sila pareho at ilang saglit pa ay tuluyang silang umiyak. Bumaba sila sa sofa at kaagad na dinamba ako ng yakap. They cried loudly, and I can't help but cry too.

I caressed their back as they sobbed harder on my shoulder.

"Gusto kayong makilala ni Tatay, gusto niyo rin ba siyang makilala, hmmm?"

Ilang sandali pa silang nakayap sa akin hanggang sa bumitaw na sila pareho. Kaagad kong pinunasan ang mga luha nila. Their eyes and nose are so red from all the crying.

"Si Tatay. Gusto ko pong makita si Tatay." Yesh wiped her tears as she said it.

Sabik silang makita ang kanilang ama. At wala akong karapatang hadlangan ang kasiyahan nila sa parteng iyon.

I caressed their cheeks. "Nasaan po si Tatay?" Thiago asked shyly.

I looked at him lovingly. "I can call him now. Gusto niyo ba?"

They nodded immediately after. I made them sit on the sofa again as I composed myself.

They are wiping each other's cheek and my heart was filled with warmth again with that scene.

"Nanay please, call Tatay now." Yesh pleaded and I can't help but chuckle.

Tumango ako at kaagad na kinuha ang cellphone ko sa dining. "Dito lang kayo, okay?"

They excitedly nodded at me as they settled themselves on the sofa.

With my trembling hands, I dialled his number. Mas lalong kinabahan ng marinig kong nag ring ang cellphone niya. Akala ko matagal pa bago siya sumagot pero ilang ring lang ay nasagot na niya ito.