Criminal Case Oneshots

Cuts

AN: THIS ONESHOT CONTAINS SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM!

A oneshot for suicidebowsss

(Y/N)'s POV

You don't want to do it anymore. You... hate everything. You hate the world and you know it hates you back. No one wants to be your friend and you can't make friends. No one talks to you and if people do talk to you, it's for Bureau work. Jack and Carmen always get more attention and praise than you. You just feel like you're overlooked a lot. Your only friend is your roommate Angela. Angela is so sweet. She's the best person ever. She is the only person who you feel like cares for you. The only person who loves you. You know it probably will hurt her, but she will be able to get over your memory. Yeah, you plan on leaving... and not in the traditional sense. You have been feeling suicidal lately. You've never done anything about it but you just can not deal with the pain or thoughts anymore. You just hope you won't chicken out on doing it. You don't plan on killing myself immediately. You want to build up a pain tolerance so you know for sure that you want to die.

You marched over to the bathroom of You and Angela's room and shut it behind you. You hum as you step over to the shower. You get in, feeling like the shower would be the best place to do what you're thinking about doing. It is spotless but it could be very easily cleaned up. You turn, analyzing everything in the shower. Bottles of shampoos and conditioners stare back at you. The loofah shines in the sunlight from the window. You see the razor and grab it. You take the top off and get the razor blades out. You grip the blade tightly, your fingers starting to feel sweaty. You better start so you don't drop the blade. If your hands get too wet and clammy, you won't be able to pick it up again if you do drop it. You grab it with your left hand and then start cutting yourself on your right arm. The first contact stung, the feeling of the blade cutting through skin, and then you quickly got used to it. The cuts start to form and they start to move down your arm. Blood starts dripping down your arm and sliding from your fingertips onto the floor. Drops of blood fall onto the shower floor. All was going well. Yeah, you were clenching your teeth and starting to feel a little bit woozy, but you were determined. You were just about to start on the other arm when the door burst open.

Angela steps into the bathroom. She hurried over to the sink and began to apply lotion up her arms and legs. You freeze, not wanting to be caught doing this. Your plan of keeping what you're doing a secret fails. The razor blade slips from your hand and falls down, clattering against the hard tile and making a 'tink-dink' as it hits the ground. Angela turns her head and gasps. Her eyes immediately go to your arm, the cuts, and the blood.

"(Y/N)?! What the hell are you doing?!" She yells.

"Um, nothing!" You exclaim.

"I can obviously see otherwise, (Y/N)!" Angela says.

You knew why this happened. You had forgotten to lock the bathroom door before you started to cut, you simply shut the door behind you. Another failure on your part, you thought. Tears begin to form in your eyes and roll down your face.

"I'm just... feeling really upset right now!" You huff.

"Stop this and we'll talk about it." Angela reasons, stepping closer to you.

"Angela, no!" You cry out, stretching your arms out to keep her away from you.

"(Y/N), please. You're bleeding!" She replies.

"No shit I'm bleeding, Angela! I've cut my arm open, I know what I'm doing." You retort.

Angela grabs your arm. Blood squishes from the cuts which are very close to each other. You cringe and feel pain shoot up your arm. You try to jerk away but Angela holds on tight.

"(Y/N), you need to get some medical attention for this." Angela whispers.

"No, you need to let go of me and let me continue, because I want to die!" You shout.

You were about to continue your tirade when you noticed something about Angela. Long gone was her normal level of self containment, but here was an example of a person showing raw emotion. Tears are streaming down her face. Angela was crying. You pause, reaching your left hand out and gently wiping her tears away. Your thumb glides across her cheek. You made her upset. You made her cry.

"Angela, I'm sorry, I was just feeling lonely... please don't cry." You plead.

"Lonely? Do you wish everyone else talked to you more? Do you want us to be together more??" She queries.

"Yeah... maybe that would make me feel less sad." You hum.

"I'd do anything for you, especially now since you need it. Although I might not be the best person to talk to you about these feelings." Angela remarks.

"Who else would I talk to? Marina?" You question.

"Yes. I'm a scientist not a psychologist." She reasons.

"But I want to talk about it with you..." You whine.

"Of course, it's alright, we can talk." Angela agrees.

"Thank you for this talk, but I'd be willing to talk more on this subject... after I get patched up though." You mutter.

"Okay, but first, I have to say sorry for yelling at you and freaking out." She apologizes.

"Mhmm. I'm so sorry! For everything." You sob.

Angela leans over and kisses you on the cheek. You lean on the touch, loving the sweet comfort. You tilt forward and kiss Angela on the cheek. She wraps a towel around your arm and with one more kiss, she swiftly brings you to the infirmary to be patched up.